The Fittest

This is lazy blogging, but Dr. Amy Tuteur already says this and does so beautifully.

Advocates of natural parenting, natural eating and natural healing wax rhapsodic about the perfection of nature. But that’s because they imagine that the blinkered view they prefer is reality when it is nothing more than a comforting fantasy.

Go read it.


17 thoughts on “The Fittest”

  1. Love me some common sense and medical pov from Dr Amy. Sensible women rule. Woo ladies drool. 🙂


  2. Today, I decided to take my grandkids on a little nature visit. My friend owns a Spring-fed lake that is a perfect picture of natural serenity plus. We walked down a little stream and were hissed at by a loggerhead that was larger than my kitchen table. Okay not quiet that big but it hissed. We left the water and decided to pick blackberries and two of the boys got stung by yellow jackets then my legs were attacked by briars and out of fucking no where appeared a cactus and the girls thought it was ever so cute and I yelled don’t touch it but they touched it and both ended up with thorns all in their hands, leaving one child with no injuries. But then I decided to gather some camomile flowers to dry for tea and the un- injured child saw a cute little bird’s nest and I said wait and it was too late, the blue jays attacked and he fell off the first limb and we spent two hours in the ER and my daughter had to take off work and now he sports a bright blue cast. Nature aint all it’s cracked up to be. Out of it all, my camomile wilted and the blueberries cooked in the car while we waited while the doctor decided on a cast or splint and if surgery was needed.


  3. Natural parenting. Is that where you dye your kids hair and buy dollar store crap made in China and live in a prefabricated shack made from pressboard while keeping your children away from their extended family and from having friends and birthday parties, etc?

    Natural eating. Is that were you eat from cans, go to Hardee’s or just let the kids find frogs, turtles and weeds to eat?

    Natural healing. Keep as dirty as possible to build up immunity to germs, don’t let oxygen on wounds, and watch youtube videos on how to do surgery? Oh, and growing herbs (weed) as everyone with a brain can tell you, cures everything.

    Back to Nature the Naugler Way

    1. Don’t pay your bills.
    2. Burn every bridge so no one will rent from you.
    3. Tell yourself that you need to know how to survive without electricity & do away with it, except must have a source for your phones, pads, Netflix etc.
    4. Tell yourself you don’t need plumbing for water. Steal it from work, neighbors and buy bottled water. Crap in white buckets and dump & have kids dump the buckets, preferably next to neighbors.
    5. Don’t do schooling. Everything you ever need to know you can learn from Nicole. Just ask her kids. Education is for dummies.
    6. Grow a few plants and call yourself self sufficient. You don’t even have to water them. Let nature take care of the garden. It’s called ungardening, or Gods way of gardening. Very natural and no big bad Monsanto involved.
    7. Build your own tarp shack. Get kids taken away. Start a GFM. Buy shed. Get kids back after taking a natural vacation at the Motel 6 where they have natural all cotton bedsheets, and air conditioning.
    8. Personal hygiene is easy. Don’t brush your hair. Call it dreadlocks. Bathe in the creek, river or lake or your place of business. Where the same clothes, keep kids barefooted, use the laundromat only when you have too. Buy cheap clothing and don’t take care of it. You can have 12 kids and buy everything new for each new child.
    9. Food. Buy at dented can places. Have a can opener and have kids build rocket stove. Eat pizza, Hardee’s, fast food, and chili most days. It’s natural if you add bagged salad, bagged shredded cheese and beans to anything. Oh and keep goats, pigs, roosters, a hen or two, rabbits and lots of dogs. And feed them naturally too.
    10. Home birth and breast feed. And hate authority, doctors, cops, trolls, schooling, other people and pretend that you are better than anyone else cause you don’t need electricity or help in child birth.

    The most important thing to Nicole style of being naturally crunchy is to be a minimalist. Say that word over and over while you shop for new baby stuff for your 12th baby. While you’re at the dollar store. While you walk through your crammed shed, car, whatever. Just leave all tools, bike parts, anything out in the elements (like a tied up dog) so they can also be all natural.


  4. Nature aint all it’s cracked up to be.

    OMG. I was reading along and then WHAM. What an awful day. I’m so sorry.

    I will admit that I sort of laughed once I knew the child was okay.


  5. I have2 kids, I bought for the first kid, and planned the next..specifically for hand me down purposes. After 11 , you should have ALL you need.


  6. Yes! Natural isn’t all it’s cracked up to be. I laugh at all the people going on about “natural” and “plant” as a reason to legalize pot. Now, I’m not against legalization, but the “natural” argument is ridiculous. You don’t see them eating or smoking potato greens or tomato greens or rhubarb greens or poison ivy. Hemlock is very natural, but it didn’t turn out well for Socrates.

    As my (then) 8yo daughter said after having black fly bites swell both of her eyes almost shut last summer, “nature sucks”. Anti-histamines and washcloths with cold water, however, were great as far as she was concerned.


  7. I have to say one thing in their semi-defense; even in a larger family you don’t have everything you need from previous children each time. I imagine the Ns just didn’t have the money to buy things like a pack-n-play for other children, so I can understand the desire to get one for this child. I have seven kids, and I can tell you that my cloth diapers (prefolds and wraps) didn’t make it past 4 kids over 8 years continuous use, and our girl clothing was pretty much toast after our third daughter. I had to buy an entire new wardrobe for our seventh child (4th girl). We buy capsule wardrobes, and we buy good clothing; so it wasn’t a lack of planning that led to a future shortage of clothing. The reality is that having 3 girls wearing clothing wore out the younger/smaller sizes quickly. The stains eventually didn’t come out, or the clothes started to have holes from extensive use and stain removal. A lot of our clothing was relatively gender neutral (sweatshirts, overalls, and such) so by the time child 6-7 were born they had been extensively worn. Sometimes you really do need to buy new items for a new baby. Car seats in particular certainly should be replaced regularly.

    Don’t get me wrong; there are numerous things wrong with how they are preparing for this new baby (lack of prenatal care being #1 in my view). I just don’t think buying baby items is high on that list. I would actually wonder if they are buying new baby items in part to prove their mettle as good parents to the people still in charge of their CPS case.


  8. Nature sucks. Ok, nature is beautiful and I love natural foods. Of course they aren’t that natural since we have science to thank for our fruits and veggies being so perfect.

    My husband nearly died from nature, poison ivy to be exact. That shit can be deadly. I trust in medical care. That’s what saved him. ugh. So not in the mood for this shit. I’m cranky tonight. Natural is great but it doesn’t cure everything.


  9. Their youngest is only 1, so the clothes would be from him..1 year ago. Im sure thrift shops have cheap stuff.


  10. Nature also provides people with shitty misaligned teeth, or small jaws and large teeth, no adult teeth, vestigial tails, indeterminate gender at birth, cleft palates, spina bifida, congenital heart defects, etc.

    Nature doesn’t care about individuals any more than nature “cares” about any species.

    This rock will keep on spinning with or without us.


  11. Nature provides lots and lots of maternal childbirth deaths for both mom and infant.

    Nature provides a fuckton of deadly illnesses.

    Nature provides a limited life span. We age…..and this is why this is important…

    because in having a limited lifespan, in aging and slowing down, we need to apply forethought to our lives if we want to survive. This is a skill the Naugs don’t have.

    Joe’s idea of forethought is continuing to knock Nicole up every year…regardless of how much it endangers her, and regardless of the odds they’re flirting with of a special needs baby that could shut their whole operation down. (CPS will become aggressively involved when a medically fragile child is endangered)

    Why does he do this? Because every kid buys him more time to avoid getting a job.

    Nicole? Joe’s never going back to work. He’ll knock you up until your ovaries prolapse out your vagina….to buy another year of sitting on his ass. It’s all on you, babe.

    Nicole’s mouth and Joe’s fat will eventually have health consequences. It’s not an if, it’s a when. I know plenty of 40 year olds who can scrape by ignoring their health issues. This becomes a lot harder at 50 and 60, etc…

    Grooming dogs is physically demanding work. It’s tough to do when you’re 30 and springy. Turn the corner of 40, then 50….and it becomes seriously difficult. What then? Rope a kid into doing it? To what end? How much business exists in a small town in Kentucky for one local salon? Enough to support how many full time groomers? Will it feed one family? Two?

    Which of the lucky kids gets to take care of Joe and Nicole when their bad choices catch up? There is clearly no retirement plan. There are probably not enough social security quarters on the books for social security and medicare.

    What’s “natural” isn’t sunshine and roses. Nature is cruel. Getting older is cruel.

    Particularly, when you’re a willfully clueless Naugler.


  12. Outsider, every picture she posts of that pond, all I can think about is the shitgate dumpage resulting in the nasty drainage of raw sewage into the water shed below ground and the small bodies of water above ground. Compound the contaminated water with stagnation and I’m sure the smell would gag the very maggots that are so needed for restoring the poor rabbits health. I am sure to The naturalist Naugs, the smell of shit and sounds of swarming flies and blood sucking mosquitoes are a connect to nature. Also because I have MS, I am always suspicious of clumsy people who weren’t always clumsy. There’s nothing like walking into a fancy restaraunt where you are placed in the guest of honor section where all can see and when the speeches end and the gifts given and the food starts coming in and you dig in to the salad and stab the vegetables with the fork and you think great hands working and you start moving fork to mouth and you realize that fuck yeah it’s going in the right direction and you open your mouth and the fork connects to the side of your face and you think what the fuck did someone eat my bite and who the fuck is throwing food but then it hits you that the fucking joke nature plays on those of us with fucked up immune systems has struck again and the last thing you think is how fucking awesome nature is for over charging the immune system nor do you think how great nature is. Nicnaug has no idea how unfair nature treats her inhabitants and that crap shoot she plays with home births and her total disregard for her children’s health is a ticking bomb. My nana always said don’t look a gift horse in the mouth or it will give you something you may not want.


  13. Didn’t baby 11 have a pack and play at the shop? I remember him being fed salad in it.

    I am enjoying nature from a little vacation spot in the country this week, and not gonna lie I was tempted to look at houses out here.


  14. The last baby isn’t that old, could be that the other pack n play is still in use.

    Seriously, bashing on the Ns for actually doing something right is counterproductive. Buying new baby gear isn’t a bad idea when you live in squalor.


  15. Please notify when new posts are written. Have kept up but last entry I see is The Fittest. Thank you.


  16. You can subscribe quite easily. There is a place to put your email address and you’ll get an email every time there’s a new posting.


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