Say Nothing

How many of us were taught by our parents that “if  you don’t have something nice to say, say nothing”?

I bet most of us were.

This is not exactly a universal truism.  It’s okay, and even a duty, for example, to speak up if you don’t like what a politician who represents you is doing.  It’s also okay with regard to very prominent, influential people.  I’m thinking here of Jerry Falwell.  When he died, Chris Hitchens famously said, “If you gave Falwell an enema, he could be buried in a matchbox.”

Hitch had a right to have an opinion about Falwell and to voice it. Falwell lived for controversy, reveled in it, created it, and was especially nasty when it came to atheism.

But, mostly, and especially when it comes to a funeral, it’s a pretty good idea to just shut the fuck up if you can’t say something nice.

Several years ago, a man died.  He was somebody I knew well, and had known for many years. I couldn’t stand him.  I’d never liked him.  He’d never liked me.  I doubt he ever had a good word to say about me.  The last time I spoke with him (on the phone), he hung up on me. I called him back and hung up on him.  Childish, I know, but golly I despised him.

He died.  He died younger than he should have died.

I didn’t care that he died, frankly.  I didn’t even feel badly for his family because I believe they are all much better off without him.

But you know what?  I never said so publicly.  I said so to Dave, and that is it.  Even now, I’m not going to identify him.  It’s just not useful to say something like that.  There were a few people who didn’t like our son, and there was one guy who expressed that in public, in an online forum, in the days immediately after his death.  I read it. I know how it feels to read something like that, and I don’t want to cause anyone to feel that sort of pain, so I refrain.

If I don’t like the person who has died, and if they weren’t particularly prominent, or someone who was influential in my own life and/or the lives of people close to me directly on a large scale, the proper behavior for me is to say nothing at all.

Let’s go back to Jerry Falwell.  Hitchens said what he said in order to minimize the adulation that would occur with Falwell’s legacy.  He wanted to lessen Falwell’s posthumous impact, with good reason. He wasn’t saying something nasty just to be nasty.  He had a purpose in mind, a positive outcome he was reaching for.

What purpose could it have served if I said publicly I didn’t like the person that I knew that died?  What good could have come of that?


And I knew it, so I said. . . nothing.

The president of the Mormon church died.

Nicole is not a member of the Mormon church, by her own words. She left the Mormon church.

She did not know this man personally.  He didn’t affect her life directly, because to my knowledge, he didn’t change the policies or tone of the Mormon church in any way that led to her exodus.

So why does she need to say this?  Why even post it?  The only reason for sharing that link was to give herself a platform to say that she didn’t like him.

She doesn’t tell us why.  We come away with no more information than we had before we started. She just didn’t like him. [This, of course, opens up the way to a question: Does Nicole like anyone?]

Some people are going to judge you and they’ve never even met you.

Maybe Nicole ought to read the shit she posts.




Evil Kitty

I had no idea what this was about. It’s obviously one of Nicole’s attempts to diss somebody obliquely.

She wasn’t at a playground.

She was snooping about on Facebook.

And she found this.

Watch carefully, because if you don’t, you’ll miss it.

Evil Kitty follows Debra Whitehouse’s daughter around like a puppy dog.  She goes to the beach with them.  One day, in fact, she disappeared when they were getting ready to go to the beach, and when they arrived, she met them.

I would like to know something, though.

What makes Nicole (and that lunatic alter-ego, Charles) believe that Debra did not clean up after her cat?  There is nothing in that video that would suggest otherwise.  And in fact, she did.  She always does.

Unlike the woman whose whole family shits in buckets and then dumps it in the bushes.  Really.

If you like Evil Kitty, you’ll love her Facebook page. Go check it out.

But I’ll let Evil Kitty have the last word.


Then and Now

But that was then and this is now,
And I am changing,
And how I feel has changed somehow,
I’m re-arranging.
Yeah, that was then and this is now.
Cause that was when I was still…
Still in love with you.

Nathan Davis, Then And Now

Then (2011)

Once upon a time, there was a senior student at Bob Jones University named Christopher Peterman. Chris became so upset by the unfolding Tina Anderson saga and the revelation that the pastor who had treated her so horribly, Chuck Phelps, was sitting on the board of Bob Jones University, that he started a Facebook page called Do Right BJU. Along with some other students, he organized the first-ever student-led protest in the history of the school in early December.

However, nine days before his graduation, he was expelled from the university for watching Glee off-campus at a Starbucks. He went to the media with the story, which pretty much infuriated the school.

And he lived happily ever after, albeit without a degree from BJU.

The end.

That was the narrative. I remember it well. Anyone who had any interest in this stuff and was paying the slightest attention remembers.

It was the narrative in the mainstream media. It was also the narrative adopted by most of the people in the online community of former students and graduates of the school.

But there were a number of BJU “loyalists” and others who weren’t so sure about the accepted story. One of those was Greg Easton, who wrote a blog called The Hidalgo Grain Company. It no longer exists so I can’t link to it, but Greg’s basic concern seemed to center around the role that Camille K. Lewis played in the whole scenario.

At the time, there was immediate push-back from Camille and company. Dan is talking here about Greg, pooh-poohing the idea that Christopher had help or was “being used.”

This paragraph is from Dan Keller’s Facebook page, a “note” he wrote and posted on November 26, 2012 entitled Red Balloons and Reality. Notice that Christopher started “Do Right BJU”, and Christopher organized the protest.

And what do you see in the comments? The Queen herself “liked” it. She said “Amen.” She did not say anything about “Oh, no, that’s not exactly right.” She said, “Amen.”

The Do Right BJU page itself announces that there are four administrators, all closely tied to the University in some way – and that Christopher is the founder.

Christopher is nobody’s puppet, we are told categorically, and just as vehemently, Dan Keller tells us that nobody can tell Chris what to do.

And Camille Lewis has nothing to do with it. Nothing.

Just so we all are clear about this, Camille “liked” the statement.

Chris is nobody’s puppet and Camille Lewis had nothing to do with this.

St. Catherine jumps in to “like” the statement as well.

This is fairly typical of the kinds of comments that were being made during that period. The students were behind the movement.

Here’s a statement about all this from St. Cat herself. It speaks for itself.

Here’s the final word on the subject from the Queen herself. Camille tells us on her blog that DRBJU was a student-led effort that accomplished the first protest in BJU’s history.

The Queen is the super researcher of the whole world and always gets it exactly right.

Now (2014)

But that was then, as Nathan says. And this is now. And Camille and Cathy and Dan and company have done some changing. And re-arranging.

Why? Well, seems that they aren’t in love with Christopher any more.

These were presented on one of the now-defunct Manhater pages to “prove” that Christopher didn’t start DRBJU, and didn’t really do anything at all. He was just a puppet and followed Camille and her Court around doing their bidding.

There’s a few things to notice here. First, the cavalier way the unnamed person says that Chris “may or may not be shipped.” She doesn’t care. It doesn’t matter. Use the next few days, then let whatever happens to him, well, just happen.

It’s a sort of brain-storming session, batting around ideas. One person even says, “I messaged him…We’ll see if he thinks it will work.”

The questions begin, all designed to imply that Chris has tried to take all the credit for DRBJU and the protest as though somehow he did it without any help or any suggestions from anybody. Which is, of course, exactly the narrative that Cathy and Camille and Dan tried their damnedest to put out there. Go back and read what they wrote.

Seems to me that the people who were lying about Camille and her Court’s involvement in the whole DRBJU thing were…Camille and Dan Keller and Cathy Harris.

So, who are the “malignant narcissists” again?

This stuff was all presented on the Manhaters page, only they left out Christopher’s responses. I am including them, so you can see how he answered the accusations being made.

So Rhonda Whiting did the logo. That’s nice, and creative.

Or, at least, Rhonda sent the logo to Chris. Maybe Grant Lewis actually made it.

And now, the Court Jester is slamming the very thing that he and Camille and Cathy so vociferously defended back then.

Nathan called it “re-arranging.”

First, Camille and Grant “helped” with the logo (whatever that means), and Cathy (and others) paid for the airplane that flew over the school during graduation and gave Chris money after he was expelled.

How nice of them.

But then DRBJU “jumped the shark” and of course, in typical fashion, nobody knows what the hell that means. I suspect it means that Christopher would not give Camille admin privileges on DRBJU, but that’s just my opinion.

And “Mark” never had anything to do with anything, as far as I remember. I never even heard of “Mark” until he showed up on TSGoBJ and I’ve never seen a sign of him any place else.

Actually, Dan, no. It doesn’t.

I am the owner of this web site. I bought and paid for it all by myself. Nobody did it for me.

Do you believe for one second that I don’t get PMs and emails (almost daily) from people suggesting stuff to me for this web site? Of course I do. (And I am very grateful for them. However, not one of them is a “powerful fundamentalist preacher.”) Is this my web site? You betcha it is. Do I write every word that appears on this site? Yes, I do. Did I personally come up with every single idea here and every single screen shot and every single piece of information? Nope. And do I reject many of the suggestions that are made? Yep, I do, for various reasons. And I did not come up with the name of this web site. Somebody else did. Does that make this not my web site? Of course it doesn’t.

Dan has a mind-numbingly boring site on Storify where he attacks Jeffrey Hoffman viciously. Did anyone help the Court Jester with screen shots to put on that site? You betcha they did. Camille and Cathy did, for certain. It’s likely other people did as well. Does that mean that it’s not Dan’s very own Storify mess? Of course it is. Nobody else would claim it.

So does that mean that when Greg accused Camille and followers of lying about their involvement way back then — he was telling the truth? And if Greg was right about Christopher, does that mean he was also right about Camille?

Here’s a contrast for you. When Chris got shipped, the world watched as he went public with the details. His story was caught by the mainstream press. There was no way for him to hide.

When the Jester got shipped, he did just that. He hid. He lied. He didn’t own it for years. I have no idea why he got shipped. We all know that it can happen to almost anyone and takes very little. Being shipped from BJU isn’t exactly a scarlet letter sewn to your breast. But Dan hid.

What I have done here on this web site is just a fraction, a tiny fraction, of what Christopher did when he defied Bob Jones University, called them out on their own rotten behavior, started Do Right BJU, helped organize and spearhead the first on-campus protest ever at that place, and then subsequently was shipped for his trouble. Where we compare is that both of us have done this alone.

Nobody’s name is on this web site but mine. The Queen and her Court take potshots at people they believe might be in league with me, but they don’t really know and can’t be sure. I and I alone have walked out into the field and stood there while they fired their bullets right at me.

Christopher did the same thing, only the force that was firing at him had much more power to hurt him than the Queen and her Court have to bother me. They did hurt him. They took his money, a very sizable sum. They took four years of his life. They gave him nothing in return. And he walked out onto that field alone. I did not see the Queen, or St. Catherine, or the Court Jester, or anyone else standing beside him.

As he was jerked from his room and hauled off to face expulsion, Camille was happy in her little house having her little dinner and feeling smug. Dan was down in Miami taking his little dogs to the park. St. Catherine was in Pennsylvania doing whatever it is she does. But none of them were being shot at. Only Chris was.

And with the bullets comes the credit.

Thank you, Christopher, for your courage and honesty.