Safety First


Dear Mandy,

You came to the wrong place. They don’t have “projects on hold.” They don’t have projects at all.  They never finish anything, ever.

They aren’t “learning to homestead.”  They’ve been at this for years and have accomplished absolutely nothing except managing to squirt several more infants that they cannot afford into the world to live in a garden shed.

. . .we have a good food storage. . .

Really? You know, I call bullshit on that.  We had friends visit us for Thanksgiving, a mother with four teenagers.  We only had one child, so my experience cooking and storing food was always for a maximum of three except on rare occasions.

Feeding four teenagers for two days was interesting for me. I knew they’d eat.  I even guessed the amounts pretty close. It was just astonishing to watch, though.  Put food on the table. Doesn’t matter what it is. Doesn’t matter if it “goes together.”  They inhale it.

There is no space in that garden shed for “good food storage” for 13 people. There is no space for the thirteen people, much less the food.

Nicole’s idea of “a good food storage” is enough food to get through to Friday.

. . . lots of wood. . .

Sure. Lots and lots of wood.  Lots of wood, obtained. . . where?  Whose property?

We are not safe right now. . .

Oh, for pity’s sake.

Trump was just elected President. You know who is “not safe”?  Minorities.  LGBTQ folks.  Muslims.

Syria is in the midst of a civil war.  You know who is “not safe”? That little girl who has been tweeting from Aleppo.

Putin is probably going to invade Estonia.  You know who is “not safe”?  The nice peanut vendor who kept our backpack for us when we lost it in Tallinn.

The Nauglers are safe unless you count the danger of the shed burning down due to their ineptness or the whole crew getting frostbite or the risk they run by teaching their children to shoot first and ask questions later.  Whatever happens to them, rest assured, they bring on themselves.

Mandy, whatever you’ve done, however little you’ve done, means that you are miles ahead of the Naugler family.  They haven’t even arrived at the starting gate.