CHAPTER 8 (minute 1:45 – minute 2:04. And seven seconds.)
TOPICS COVERED: Not vaccinating; Not being on the grid; Not being a prophet; Neglect Is a Hairstyle; Native American music; Narcotics; Nights out; Nanowatts of solar power; Nicole and Joe have rights (Maybe you’ve already heard).
– Why are they still talking?
– Why am I still watching?
– Why do they keep saying they are going to stop…and STILL NOT STOPPING?
– Why does Nicole think it is any kind of defense to state that her kids would rather lie on bare dirt ground than in their own “house”?
– The world is not flat. You heard it here first.
– Nicole and Joe are not hateful people. Again, first.
– CPS vaccinated three of the Naugler children against court orders. I didn’t know there was a vaccine for that. Maybe it’s still in the trial phase. BaBOOM!
– The best way to prepare for the temporary inconvenience of losing electric power in a storm is to resign yourself to living with that same inconvenience both before the storm and after the storm, and making that inconvenience permanent, since there are bound to be more storms down the road. Won’t you look like a genius!
– Nicole describes her hair as dreadlocks, dread locks, or knotty hair. Or did she mean “naughty hair?” I believe the formal term for that would be “oppositionally-defiant” hair.
– They eat the goats. Some of them. The ones Nicole doesn’t like.
– Yes, they will be doing this again, although they don’t specify what “this” is: Chatting online? Sitting in the van? Scratching? Avoiding your questions? Avoiding their children? Avoiding Reality? Rebranding as Flaming Trollfest LIVE!!! for 2018? Will it be before or after they read the comments and write down everyone’s names?
Grins ‘n’ Giggles:
Joe’s Jokes: (Did you know Joe can tell jokes, and we can’t stop him?)
“My head is itchy….Naaah, just kidding!”
(Well, he thinks it’s funny).
And now, for the first and last time, Grins ‘n’ Giggles introduces
Nicole’s Riddle me this!
Q: How do you gain control by giving up power?
A: By going off-grid!
Q: How do you go off-grid but still use the Internet?
A: Kiss my ass!
Q: Nicole, how can we kiss your ass if Lisa has it?
A: Please consult my previous postings disclosing Ms. Luthi’s residence including address, phone number, driving directions, list price, number of bedrooms, and satellite photos of both street and aerial views. I’d post them again but my toddler fed the printouts to my dog.
Q: Nicole, does this mean Lisa will have to give you next year’s birthday spanking?
A: All right, that’s it. You’re blocked.
I’d like to leave you with a few inspirational words from Joe and Nicole. That way I can run away before you realize you’re stuck with them….
“We want people to know you can do it.
[I’m still waiting for evidence that YOU can do it, Joe.]
You can live a more simple, basic, minimalist lifestyle to get out of the stress and the mundaneness of the culture that we live in.
[Shit in a bucket, or take a world cruise…you decide.]
You can do it with ten kids.
[Just not twelve.]
You can do it on a shoestring budget.
[By not including the actual shoes].
You can do it without government.
[Guess that means no internet, then.]
That’s a good thing. Free yourself.
[Because the VERY BEST WAY to get free is to let Nicole tell you how to think and what to do.]
As for me, I’m just glad to be free of this chat. Thanks to all the readers for not throwing tomatoes. Thanks, satisfied readers (you know who you are), for your compliments. Most of all, thanks, Sally, for giving me space to play in your awesome blog this week. I happily turn the stage back over to you.
And I pause here to allow everyone to give Sheer Luck a well-deserved round of applause. This is awesome. My sincere thanks. I had to wipe away tears from laughing so hard in order to post this.