Sheer Luck has been busy.
CHAPTER SIX (minutes 1:30 – 1:45)
Apologies to those looking to find all these…uh, these pearls in the video; There is an error in the last chapter. Joe’s “Secrets of Great Parenting” actually occurs in Chapter Six, not Chapter Five. I don’t know how they got mixed up, but I’m totally blaming my kids. – SheerLuck
TOPICS COVERED: Snake snacks; Snapping-turtle snacks; Snooping stalkers stealing shitstead snapshots; Sowing strawberries; Smoking cigars as substitutes for other substances; Siblings and…sleeping arrangements; Scissoring beards (we don’t want to know); Speculations on skin color; Sheds (it’s a LOFTED CABIN, people); and Sawing down shaky stuff.
Head-scratching moments (Now with answers!):
– Joe’s still not sure how many children he has. Ten. No, eleven. (Answer: Twelve, soon to be thirteen, and Thank you for playing!)
– Was that really a burp? (All signs point to Yes)
– Honk if you love Jesus! Or if your kids got out of the shed!
– Where did all these fresh trolls come from? (Answer: I don’t know, but they live under a MUCH bigger bridge)
– Why do the trolls keep asking Joe and Nicole to put their shoes on their heads? Do they like orange crocs? Are they tired of Joe’s hat and hungry for change? Do they think it will make Joe stop scratching? Do they hope it will squish any dreaded spiders? (Answer: None Of the Above; It’s Just A Thing. Those Crazy Trolls.)
– Why do the trolls keep mentioning clams? (Answer: Yes, it’s what you’re thinking)
– The next garden planned for the Homestead is an herb garden. Because nothing is more essential to a survivalist’s self-sufficiency than fresh basil.
– The Nauglers’ home was built ENTIRELY BY MENNONITES. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.
– Many people confuse Mennonite-built sheds with Amish-built sheds; while they are similar, the Mennonite sheds are built to a less-strict code* than those of the Amish. For instance, Mennonite-built sheds have some modern appliances, and are not as plain in manner and dress.
– The Nauglers’ home is NOT a shed; it is a “lofted cabin” MODEL of a shed, made by a shed company. And Mennonites. Not Amish. Not that there’s anything wrong with any of that.
– You may be surprised to learn that the model name “lofted cabin” was NOT a reference to the likelihood of it being swept away by a tornado.
– Nicole would like to live in a hemp house.
– We suspect Joe would, too.
– There are currently no statistics on the likelihood of a hemp house being blown away by a tornado.**
– There are currently no Mennonite-built lofted-barn hemp-cabins offered for sale in Kentucky. Maybe try Indiana. Or the Amish.
– Siblings can’t get married, but did you know they can procreate and we can’t stop them? (Actually, Joe, I DID know that Fun Fact. Siblings procreate all the time. Just not WITH EACH OTHER.)
We introduce a new sub-heading to our Grins ‘n’ Giggles section we call….
Q: Where do atheists go when they die?
A: In the ground! No, wait – Anywhere they want to! Ba-dump-BING! I’ll be here all day, folks! Try the gator!
More Grins ‘n’ Giggles:
– A viewer inquires: “Are you black?” Not that there’s anything wrong with the Nauglers being black. (every black person on earth, in unison: “OH YES THERE IS!!!”)
– Once again, Joe proclaims himself “a face-to-face kinda guy.” I suspect this is the positive-spin version of an “in-your-face kinda guy.”
– Actually, in this segment, he’s more into his own face. Specifically, his beard. And, at times, his nose.
– Nicole found Neal Boortz! (Wait! Don’t tell me – He was hiding in the bag with the screenshot printouts, wasn’t he?)
*DISCLAIMER: Satire. I’m sure the Mennonite-built sheds follow all applicable building codes, are just as good as the Amish-built sheds, and both sheds will be equally rewarded with eternal life.
**At least, there are none when you Google it using those exact words.