And from Sheer Luck:
CHAPTER FIVE (minutes 1:00 – 1:15)
TOPICS COVERED: Bitcoins and How To Launder Them; Background Checks and How to Avoid Them; Bad teeth; Bogus college degrees; Boarding horses; Best restaurant (Hardees, which is no surprise, but the reason it’s Joe’s pick made the Head-Scratcher List); Bragging about being able to eat all sorts of weird shit; Boiling turtles; and Best Course of Action During the Apocalyptic Event of Your Choice.
– At last, Joe reveals Why He Loves Hardees: Is it their burgers? No….Is it those curly, curly fries? No! It’s….their one-of-a-kind, can’t-get-it-anywhere-else All-You-Can-Drink-While-On-The-Premises policy! (Who wants to tell him?…Me, neither.)
– Joe is going to get his wife a nice new set of teeth after she has the baby (I myself prefer champagne and flowers)
– Joe is rather coy about what constitutes “authentic Chinese food”….
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: The volcanic eruption originally slated to appear at Yellowstone National Park has been relocated to Mount St. Helens, Washington State. As of April 23 we have downgraded our eruption impact forecast from Catastrophic Explosion That Annihilates the North American Continent to “We Might See Some of the Ash.” (press release courtesy of Blessed Little Learning UnSchool Academy)
– If you visit Louisiana you can get Gator-On-A-Stick. Even if you’ve been vaccinated.
– There’s a difference between diagnosing someone as crazy and just deciding they are.
– Joe’s patriarchal blessings include “the power of discernment.” I think this comes with higher-level Pokémon.
– The secret of great parenting is to quietly steal up to your sleeping children, and one at a time, in each little ear, whisper “You’re my favorite…don’t tell the others.” Then leave the room and see how many seconds it takes for one of them to spill the beans. Don’t miss the beautiful, mutual moment of discovery that follows, as they realize Dad lies to all his children in equal measure.
Grins ‘n’ Giggles:
– from a viewer: “Show us the horse!” Things are getting rowdy in here!
– Joe: “We’re gonna start investing!” … Wait – he wasn’t joking.
– Joe: “We keep loaded guns all over the house, ha ha ha!” ….OK, that time he WAS joking. I know it’s not even remotely funny, but there we are.