wood splitter

Here’s everything I know about wood splitters.

You can’t afford one, Nicole.

This is another example of Nicole “begging” online.  She hopes that somebody produces either a donation toward a wood splitter (that won’t be used to actually buy a wood splitter), or an actual used wood splitter (that will have its photo taken and posted and then be quietly disposed of for cold hard cash).

These people live in a garden shed. They have teenage sons. Those boys could split enough firewood to keep that teensy shed warm for a whole winter in a matter of a few days, with a simple splitting maul.

Get one and use it.  It’s called “work.”  It’s hard, I know, but just do it.


36 thoughts on “Splitting”

  1. A $900 chainsaw, a $250 tiller and a wood splitter walk into a bar. The bartender asks, “Why so rusty?”

    Because Joe and Nicole force their children to live in the tool shed and the equipment lives out in the weather being destroyed, that’s why.

  2. Thank you for this! I saw this post last night and laughed.

    We heated solely by wood for ten years in the mountains of east Tn. Ten years. Did we own a log splitter? Nope.

  3. Do you think they burn green wood? I haven’t seen a woodpile in any of her photographs.

    Plow & Hearth has a neat “Smart Log Splitter” Only $140. It would be great for someone like myself that isn’t strong enough to do a lot of splitting. Too bad if they bought it, it would be ruined quickly. Same with the splitting maul. 🙁

    I remember going out to the woods with dad. He would cut some dead trees down, split them and us kids would throw them in the truck. Then we would go stack them in rows to dry by the farm buildings. Repeat until dead trees were all done. Then in the fall we would throw a truck load or 2 of dried wood (not what we had just put in the row) in the bed of the truck, drive it to our house (the farm buildings were about 1/2 mile away from our house), throw it down in the cellar (after removing the stair treads) careful not to hit the stringers and then stack it under the cellar stairs for easy access to feed the wood furnace all winter long. We would repeat this process every year and as often as we needed to get enough wood for heat. (Wood was not our primary heat but it helped save on propane costs.)

  4. OR maybe Joe could get off his rotund tuchis and split some wood. Lord knows he could use the exercise. The only ones I ever see in pictures doing actual work (tilling, digging, lawn mowing) are the two oldest, mostly the oldest. Poor kid.

  5. She is asking the same bunch of people who see pictures of her roosters and gush about how great her “chickens” are. Hilarious. I think she ran all the real homesteaders and farmers off. She is clever though. People who can’t tell a rooster from a chicken are more likely to believe they really need and intend to use a wood splitter.

    Speaking of yard tools…where did the chainsaw and tiller go???

  6. Expensive. Requires maintenance. Did I mention expensive?
    They don’t need one. We have one, Paul rarely uses it. We go through about 10 cords a winter as the primary heat source, and he prefers a maul and wedge. He drives into the woods on the weekends (with a firewood permit!), cuts down standing dead trees with one of his 450-500 dollar well maintained chainsaws, saws them into rounds, loads up the truck and splits them by hand when he gets home.
    Do you know what I do while he does that (since I no longer join him)? I cook a big meal to be ready when he gets back. I’m not really little miss homemaker, but I know how much work that is, and he really appreciates it.
    Do you know what I get? a cozy warm house and a 40 year old man fit as a fiddle with the libido of a 17 year old. Because physical labor outside in the fresh air is good for a mans mind, soul, and especially body.
    I have no use for a fat, lazy slob. Give me a man with a maul and a clear mind, who works with his hands, cause you KNOW he’s going to be good with his hands ;).

  7. All they need is a good axe, a sturdy stump and BAM! Great way of working away frustration. The thunk of an axe is my kind of therapy – cheap and you can even sing.

    o/’ I’m a lumberjack and I’m okay. I sleep all night and I work all day. I cut down trees, I skip and jump. I like to press wild flowers. I put on woman’s clothing and hang around in bars o/’

  8. They are probably planning to make money splitting wood for people. Joe could haul the wood splitter and his child work force around the community. They refuse to work for the man (cause you know, they make you shave your beard, be on time, work, and pay taxes).

    But he might have to stay in the air conditioned vehicle with the toddlers and his phone. The big kids can split and stack the wood. Somebody has to keep a constant watch online and be available to write diatribe.

  9. My husband and I used a wood burning stove for years, and we heated a huge house and not a one room shed. For years and years, he and I used a chain saw to cut down trees from an area of land on our property that we were clearing. We split the wood the old fashioned way, using a split maul…it was hard work, but it wasn’t impossible. Our kids helped and now, my daughter lives on our old farm and she and her husband and our grandkids do the same thing. One year, my brother-in-law brought a contraption over and in a matter of a few hours he split all the wood from two big trees so he could take a truck load or two of wood back to his house in town. But, my son-in-law has yet to see the need to buy one…he says with two teenage boys, there’s no need for a splitter and with the daughter, there’s no need for a dishwasher. LOL….Hard work never hurt anyone.
    I agree they are begging. Everything they do has one purpose to move people to contribute money to them or give them things. I’ve never known anyone who begs like they do…my son needs a chicken house…here’s the one he wants…we cannot afford it….donations will help…honestly are horrible people. They blocked me from posting on the Facebook page after I simply explained why one cannot dump human waste on the ground or I would have commented on her post about the log splitter with the best option is to split them yourselves…..lazy and shameless.

  10. Do they have a wood burning stove for the place (a real one that isn’t mud-caked and rusted out, that has all of the parts it should)? Is there a place to install the stove in the garden shed with the fire safety requirements in place (of course not)? Do they plan on having outdoor campfires all winter? Or are they going to use whatever broken down stove they have, cut a hole in the roof where ever and turn the primary habitation into more of a firetrap than it already is? Rhetorical questions, I know.

    A wood splitter? No. Sell some (or all) of the guns and get a real stove, install fire-shielding under and behind the stove. Install a real chimney pipe with a real spark-guard. Install fire-shielding on the roof for the chimney. Get saws and axes and use them and maintain them for the supply of wood rather than pile the kids into a now-defunct van to periodically run the heater during winter.

    Will they do this? Of course not. All of that would involve sacrifice, investment and work and that is just not a thing the Nauglers do. Seriously, Aesop’s fables ‘The Ants and the Grasshopper’ before our eyes. Operating a wood splitter would involve work as well. After all, wood does not just march up to the wood splitter as a form of self-sacrifice– it has to be pulled out, cut down and hauled to the splitter. Young kids around that you don’t want split? The splitter will have to me inconveniently made inaccessible. Totally agree– it’s a grifting ploy for money or a splitter that will be liqidated.

  11. Splitting dead wood is so much easier than splitting green hardwood.

    Yes it would be work to do it but not back breaking for young lads like that.

    Hell even Jojo could do it he has the weight to put behind it. Well he could do it if he were not allergic to a little work.

    It amazes me that the leghumpers just keep buying into her shit.

  12. Joe, get off his ass? Not likely, well, maybe for beer and a spliff. I think Jojo would do almost anything for a beer.

  13. Priorities. Clean up Mt. Poopsuvious or beg for an unnecessary, expensive piece of equipment they have no understanding of how to operate safely or maintain. FFS. A more appropriate request might be a r for people to help them fund an expert willing help them to crack into the septic on the property and get it operational in the most barebones way possible at a reduced price.

    That aside, the one advantage to a large family on a farm is “many hands make light work”. Dad uses his chain saw to cut wood (or hell rents one because he destroyed his)Big kids use axes and mauls to split wood, middle kids take turns stacking wood and supervising the littles. When I started following this family there was a part of me that empathized with them, from the standpoint of wondering if they were just in over their heads and needed some help. Now it’s clear that they define help as “send money and shut up”

  14. Her moderator suggested that “perhaps they have already saved the money for one”. I seriously spit my flipping coffee out. Nicole is online complaining that they dont have the money to move, that they are trapped in their circumstances, and I am to believe they have saved money for a logsplitter?

    Crickey. Winter’s coming. When I was a kid we would have started stockpiling wood for next winter months ago! Better get cracking Joe!

  15. Joe is at the “homestead” all day, every day, doing nothing. No cooking, no cleaning, no yardwork, no gardening, nothing at all! I suspect the older kids watch out for the littles. Joe has lots and lots of time to split wood. He is a sorry excuse for a man.

  16. Jane Somebody-Why can’t you just rent one till you can save up to actually buy one…..do as much work with it while you have it then return it….what I would do with no money….

    Blessed Little Homestead—Perhaps they’ve already saved up and are now ready to purchase. Wouldn’t you agree that it makes sense they are researching?

    Nicole is probably going to fire the mod who suggested they have saved up the money! The whole point of Nicole’s post was to get funds in their PayPal account!

  17. We live in southern CA near the beach and during the winter the fog and low clouds do make it rather cool. Our landlord and the one next door cut down two old ficus trees and we got the firewood. We left it to dry and then the son or the father put a dry round on a stump, got the wedge and the ax and let go. We had enough wood to get us through this past winter. Albeit, it’s not cold and snowy, but it gets damp. My son has been splitting wood since scouts and he’s good at it.

    I can’t see lardass doing anything worth anything. Effort? Reminds me of Maynard G Krebs and the word “WORK???????”.

  18. Joe has lots and lots of time to split wood.

    I am a 67-year-old woman. I am old. I have little upper body strength. Yet even I could split one or two logs daily. If Joe did that, he’d have enough firewood to heat that teeny little garden shed until they burn the damn thing down.

    The truth is that a split log is probably too much wood for that stove in that setting. They need small branches.

    Hell, this is so silly.

  19. I’m all for the wood splitter, IF it’d make life easier for the oldest. With gardening, cooking, odd chores and child rearing I’d say their days are full.

    Better yet save the expense and have homestead daddy split it in the afternoons once homestead momma gets home to watch the young ‘ens.

    And do we all remember that fancy and INVISIBLE insulation the shed has? Maybe spend the money for the splitter on that instead.

  20. I live in an area ( born and raised) where many many people use wood for heat, including myself. I have never even *seen* a wood splitter. lol

  21. Also, this is perfect for their life theme: Do the least amount of work possible at all costs.

  22. Yep, BLB, the wood stove does not need logs, but smaller branches. Maybe they are using the wood for outdoor stove cooking and bonfires. Still, no need for a wood splitter. They need to first spend the $$ on creating a permanent solution to their human waste disposal problem, as well as creating a system for water collection and storage!
    By the way they still have their “wish lists” of some expensive items on Amazon. Even if their duped followers were to “donate” some of those items to the family, where in heavens would they store it in a 385 s.f. shed crammed with 13 people?

  23. But, Mrs. Naugler, you already have a wood splitter lying around the place. He’s named Joe.

    Most of that weeny polewood on their land doesn’t even need to be split anyway. Just cut down a tree and saw it into rounds. D’you know–if Joe (not his designated mules, the oldest sons on the place) had simply cut down one tree the first day they got there, wandered off declaring fatigue, cut it up the next day, wandered off declaring fatigue, then moved the cut wood the third day before going back to bed…and done this for the past three years…well, man, they’d have a woodpile the size of a minivan left over from what they didn’t burn.

    Also a friendly reminder that three able-bodied men (Joe) can put up a 15×20 one-story polewood cabin or 10×15 two-story polewood cabin in a single summer, working evenings and weekends. Yes, even if all they have is basic tools and some Youtube videos.

  24. I want to know,did they return rhe $250 to the lady that asked for it back? What happened to the tiller? Those two dont appear to have saved anything, except for human waste.

  25. “Send money and shut up”, Rey. THAT should be at the top of all her pages! LMAO
    Lisa on FB mentioned a new problem encountered by Naugler neighbors. Apparently neighbor’s trees have been cut down without permission. Splitter anybody? Especially helpful before Wed.
    Does anyone know if the local stream that was reportedly found to be unsafe is part of the Naugler’s watershed?
    I am just amazed at the “shit” these two continue to get away with. JMhO

  26. the local stream

    There is a pond on the neighbor’s land. I don’t know about any creek or stream.

  27. Gee, wouldn’t it be nice if a bunch of super kind, generous people donated say…about 45k so they can buy their own dam splitter?

  28. I bet anything if they were given the money to purchase one they would rent one for a few days, take lots of photos and pocket the cash.

    Less expensive than a wood splitter: an axe and a maul. Joe has a chainsaw. It should still be working if someone has maintained it and kept it out of the elements.


  29. ” after all, wood does not just march up to a splitter as a form of self- sacrifice”
    Sculder &Mulley I’m dying over here.

  30. Their stove looks bigger than mine and mine takes 18″ pieces that are split average size. They’d have to have something that they could keep a good bed of coals in to throw enough heat with the lack of insulation in the shed. I bet they go through some wood just keeping the draft down.

    Having said that, they don’t need a wood splitter. Joe is a grown ass man and has two able bodied sons and a chainsaw. (He’s still got the chainsaw right? Or do we know?)

    I have been heating a 1500 square ft home, with a wood stove as my sole heat source, for the past decade. I am female, almost 50, and have permanent injuries. I have an axe for well seasoned wood, and a maul and wedge for the stuff that’s a little tougher. I buy logs cut at 18″ lengths and the rest is up to me. My woodpile is at the bottom of the hill my home is on. If I can pull off that much labor on a regular basis, it should be a breeze for Joe and the two oldest boys. I can’t imagine why on earth they would be thinking about a wood splitter.

  31. I can’t imagine why on earth they would be thinking about a wood splitter.

    They aren’t. They’re thinking about cash.

  32. Nope, that polluted local stream runs behind my property and polluted my watershed years ago. Finally forced to give up my well and go on “city” water when the pipes reached my area,

    They developed the land along the other side as a greenbelt/park. All of a sudden the signs along the creek about the pollution disappeared. Nothing done to clean up the water, just took the signs down, They built nice kayaking ramps, encouraged fishing, I didn’t buy into it. We still kayak and canoe there, just with caution. Wouldn’t eat a fish from there if you paid me.

    Sorry to read the creek is still polluted and dangerous for humans. Glad to see that they are reporting it again. Hope the signs come back for people that don’t know to beware. What I really hope for and desire is that the creek be free from contamination. Maybe then I can use my springs for something more than the flower gardens. It was some of the sweetest water I ever tasted.

  33. When I saw the post about “input” on splitters, I set the timer for a new fundraiser! Good grief, they don’t need a splitter. I lived in the real bush for many years and a well-maintained chainsaw, an axe and a splitting maul was all that was needed. If Joe got off his fat, lazy ass and actually did some work he could not only provide enough wood for his family but, gasp, perhaps sell some too.
    These people need to have their children taken from them forever.

  34. Ironborn, you’re making me glad my husband is starting to split wood manually!

    We use a lot of wood to heat our 3-story house. Our house is built into a hill that keeps it icy cold in here even when it’s 100 outside. It stays cold enough for us to have fires in the summer, like we did today. Our winters aren’t as bad as Kentucky. We are stocking up on wood so we aren’t rammed with hundreds in heating bills a month. Why the hell haven’t they started already? They don’t have other options, and they need more wood.

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