Say Nothing

How many of us were taught by our parents that “if  you don’t have something nice to say, say nothing”?

I bet most of us were.

This is not exactly a universal truism.  It’s okay, and even a duty, for example, to speak up if you don’t like what a politician who represents you is doing.  It’s also okay with regard to very prominent, influential people.  I’m thinking here of Jerry Falwell.  When he died, Chris Hitchens famously said, “If you gave Falwell an enema, he could be buried in a matchbox.”

Hitch had a right to have an opinion about Falwell and to voice it. Falwell lived for controversy, reveled in it, created it, and was especially nasty when it came to atheism.

But, mostly, and especially when it comes to a funeral, it’s a pretty good idea to just shut the fuck up if you can’t say something nice.

Several years ago, a man died.  He was somebody I knew well, and had known for many years. I couldn’t stand him.  I’d never liked him.  He’d never liked me.  I doubt he ever had a good word to say about me.  The last time I spoke with him (on the phone), he hung up on me. I called him back and hung up on him.  Childish, I know, but golly I despised him.

He died.  He died younger than he should have died.

I didn’t care that he died, frankly.  I didn’t even feel badly for his family because I believe they are all much better off without him.

But you know what?  I never said so publicly.  I said so to Dave, and that is it.  Even now, I’m not going to identify him.  It’s just not useful to say something like that.  There were a few people who didn’t like our son, and there was one guy who expressed that in public, in an online forum, in the days immediately after his death.  I read it. I know how it feels to read something like that, and I don’t want to cause anyone to feel that sort of pain, so I refrain.

If I don’t like the person who has died, and if they weren’t particularly prominent, or someone who was influential in my own life and/or the lives of people close to me directly on a large scale, the proper behavior for me is to say nothing at all.

Let’s go back to Jerry Falwell.  Hitchens said what he said in order to minimize the adulation that would occur with Falwell’s legacy.  He wanted to lessen Falwell’s posthumous impact, with good reason. He wasn’t saying something nasty just to be nasty.  He had a purpose in mind, a positive outcome he was reaching for.

What purpose could it have served if I said publicly I didn’t like the person that I knew that died?  What good could have come of that?


And I knew it, so I said. . . nothing.

The president of the Mormon church died.

Nicole is not a member of the Mormon church, by her own words. She left the Mormon church.

She did not know this man personally.  He didn’t affect her life directly, because to my knowledge, he didn’t change the policies or tone of the Mormon church in any way that led to her exodus.

So why does she need to say this?  Why even post it?  The only reason for sharing that link was to give herself a platform to say that she didn’t like him.

She doesn’t tell us why.  We come away with no more information than we had before we started. She just didn’t like him. [This, of course, opens up the way to a question: Does Nicole like anyone?]

Some people are going to judge you and they’ve never even met you.

Maybe Nicole ought to read the shit she posts.




9 thoughts on “Say Nothing”

  1. I am an ex-Mormon. Unlike Nicole I actually had my name removed. There is a process to becoming an ex-Mormon. I actually have a letter signed by the First Presidency, which Monson was head of, telling me I was officially no longer a member. By removing my name from the records I am no longer eligible to take the sacrament, attend the temple or receive callings. I can attend church because it’s open to anyone. Six members of my family took this step, my oldest son decided to become inactive. He is still a member, people still occasionally track him down. He can still take the sacrament and he could still receive church callings (jobs). He chose to remain a member for several reasons, not limited to the fact that he lives in Utah.

    The reason I explained that is because it points to a motive I believe Nicole has. By remaining a member, which she is, she can still get church assistance. She can still call to have a blessing when it suits her, like when she was in the hospital. Personally I think it’s pretty low but that’s Nicole for you. She always has an ulterior motive.

    The process for officially leaving the church isn’t hard. It takes some time. It requires only one letter. So many people left that you can now do it via email. As someone who didn’t want to remain a member I thought the proper thing to do was remove my name. It will be four years this Valentine’s Day.

    I still have lots of friends who are LDS. I have lots of friends who are ex-LDS. Today I have seen several people sad about the presidents passing, what I haven’t seen is anything negative. I haven’t even seen negative posts on my ex-LDS pages and those people can be brutal. It says so much about Nicole. Just more evidence that not only is she a bitch but she’s one that is unable to function in polite society.


  2. Since the Morman Church got tired of there shit and kicked them to the curb who better to lash out at then the President of said church.


  3. Well, I personally do not like Nicole. From where I stand, all she’s contributed to the world is 11 filthy, illiterate, potentially violent children and copious amounts of garbage and shit.

    You have a long way to go before you can measure up and make these kinds of passing remarks about anyone Nicole. But please, do start with your pot smoking, lazy, sexually deviant, lard ass of a husband – Joe.


  4. I doubt NicNaug knows how to be a friend to anyone. She has no lasting relationships with her own family or even the fat turd’s family. All of her close friends on FB are figments of her imagination made real via socks. As a result of her inability to engage in friendship activities, it stands to reason that she would focus more on those she doesn’t like because how do you show your followers your humanity if you never have proof of that humanity, so she has to show proof that at some point she was human. She formed this opinion about this guy based on his actions is, in her little brain, proof that she engages.

    Her poor mother begs for interactions with NicNaug so she can build relationships with NicNaug’s kids but NicNaug just totally ignores her. There’s a picture of NicNaug on her mother’s FB page (yes I snoop just like you NicNaug), and the picture is of Nicole when she was younger and had more than a tooth, but her mom and probably a relative commented on NicNaug’s smile and one of them said, she was happy here. You know, in our family, when we post about someone looking happy, it’s either that they are dead, had a long terrible illness, or they are hard to get along with. Yes, it’s clear from the response that NicNaug’s not always been a ray of sunshine. She sees the cup half empty, and she sees the faults of all those other people who she cannot build a relationship. If she could care about others half as much as she cares about herself, she might find a better use of her time than commenting on her dislike of some folks who have passed. Hell, she might even be less inclined to post controversial topics. I wonder if being so anti everything makes her feel good or does she feel more alienated? One thing is for certain, her anti this or that doesn’t make her unique or controversial, it defines her as a crazy assed bitch.


  5. I was saddened to hear of President Monson passing. I really liked him. I even met him and years later he personally helped me out and I wasn’t even a tithing member and I drank coffee.
    Even if Nicole had her name removed she would still be able to receive blessings and help. I know quite a few non members who receive church welfare and anyone can request a blessing from any priesthood member.

    Just like with any leader of anything there will be some who don’t like the head person or liked the previous one better.

    I wonder what she didn’t like about him? Maybe she liked President Hinckley as he was in when she was baptized. Some people just don’t like change. Maybe she doesn’t like that he lowered the age for missionaries or that he opened up the history books to just about everyone. Maybe she didn’t get warm fuzzy vibes from him and his talks. Maybe, just maybe she didn’t like his talks on fathers and husbands and Work and being a good example. Joe says he has the power of discernment as it is stated in his patriarchal blessing. If Joe listened to Monson many talks on it he would know that smoking weed takes any discernment away. He would also know not to share his blessing with 45k followers.
    What Nicole is angry about with the Mormon church is her interpretation of the law of consecration. She believes that what you have should be given to her. She has gotten very pissy with people over it. It’s funny I have seen Nicole take and take, I have yet to see her do any good or giving towards anyone. I’m sure she would say she doesn’t tell people all the good she does.

    Looking at her old pictures when her kids were in the church makes me sad. Sad that the young ones don’t have the structure that the older ones had. I’m pretty sure her kids loved it, that is until the other kids started repeating what they were hearing at home about Joe & Nicole. I am sure it hurt and embrassed those older boys.

    Nicole did a blog post of why she joined the church in 2008. I will try and find it. She sure has changed from who she was in 2008. I think her teeth has caused some mental issues. Two of my BIL and my sister got mental problems when their teeth went bad and they didn’t get them fixed. My sister finally is getting hers fixed and I am seeing a difference from her mentally.


  6. Nicole Naugler thinks she is so special that she, and only she,can sit in judgement about everyone and everything that catches her fancy, but you’d better run if you think for a minute that she would allow you to judge her. Even more fascinating to me is that she thinks anyone cares what her opinion is.

    Personally I think Nicole Naugler plays at being Mormon and only when it suits her. Like everything in their paltry little lives Nicole and Joseph Naugler are all about themselves. Everything has to be on their terms and they respect no one particularly those who they think might be in positions of knowledge or of authority. They think they can just take a little bit of this and a little bit of that from whatever, be it religion, politics, science, and then impose their ignorant and bat shit crazy opinions on it and arrogantly claim they hold the high ground. Nicole and Joeseph Naugler think that they have “interpreted” it (just about everything they blather about) better than anyone else ever has because they are just that special in their own eyes.

    So, of course she didn’t like him. He was the epitome of everything Nicole and Joseph Naugler desperately want people to think they are, but know they are not.

    At the end of the day all that they are is two failed adults whose development seems to have arrested at about the level of young teenagers. Full of vinegar and piss and not much else, but cocksure that they are better than everyone else. Rebels without a cause or a clue who purposefully handicap their children because, God forbid, those children turn out as better adults than them (not hard, IMO). I truly believe that someday those children will see them for what they are and abandon them, forcing Nicole and Joe to actually do for themselves instead of resting that burden on the shoulders of their children.

    All my opinion, naturally.


  7. I am sad about Thomas Monson’s passing. I’ve remembered him distinctly since I was a little kid. I will miss him.

    I think Nicole was actually trying to sound mature and diplomatic but it flops horribly because she has no sense of propriety or context. She abandoned propriety and consideration of others long ago. And the result is she lives in a garden shed with a dozen kids and a dead idle and brain fried husband. She didn’t like Thomas Monson but many people did. She’s allowing that other people have a different view of things than she does. How gracious of her….really? What’s Nicole’s point other than to issue meaningless and rude cryptic comments into cyberspace?

    The Mormon church is just an institution for her and her husband to take advantage of and con. She wants no part of it other than to get something for nothing because they teach her, her husband and her kids such things as responsibility, accountability, providing for one’s family, delaying gratification to provide for her family, and doing real work to help other people. Can you see Nicole or Joe doing any of that? If I have badly misapprehended them, show me where they did anything that was remotely selfless.


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