Rand and Matt

I bring you some hilarity for your evening.

Joe is on a first-name basis with both Senator Rand Paul and Governor Matt Bevin.

He’s contacted them.

They would so help out Joe and Nicole with all their issues, but alas, they have trolls.

Not just regular trolls, but hostile ones.  Politically hostile.  So they have to deal with their own trolls and Joe and Nicole are shit out of luck.

But, undaunted,  Joe and Nicole will perpetuate the “roll” of accountability in government.

Whatever the hell that means.

The senator and the governor have trolls.  I wonder if Mitch McConnell has any.  Or maybe he is one.

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21 thoughts on “Rand and Matt”

  1. Joe and Nicole, who don’t even vote or believe in ebil gubmint, are first name buds with Kentucky’s governor and U.S. senator, Matt and Rand, respectively.

    I mean, they’re so close, they’d move heaven and hell for them, if they just had the time and resources. Just because they both think so highly of the Nozzlers.

    Are you fuckin’ kidding me?

    That’s some good shit you’re growing, Joe. Or you fried your brain a long, long time ago. I lean towards fried brains. That homegrown shit is never any good.

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  2. This is so funny I just can’t stop laughing. I’m going to have to read this one to a few close friends at the Red Mile and at the Big Barn BBQ. Aww…hahaha
    Does Mitch have Trolls?….Aww…hahaha

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  3. The Governor does have a troll and it is Nicole Naugler. She tags him and makes nasty comments about him not doing what she thinks is his job even though she doesn’t vote.

    Joe has completely lost his marbles. In his efforts to inflate his useless self he has reached new heights of bullshit. Just shuffle away Joe people are laughing at you not with you.

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  4. So I gave my good buddy Rand a call. He always has time for me, even and especially since I’m so well spoken and a great American. He, however, has his own trolls, goblins and other fantastical little creatures attempting to defame and smear him.

    So I thought, what the heck. I’ll just call matt. We’re pals too. They both realize that I am a veritable powerhouse of political energy and that thousands and thousands of people hang on my every word and post. He’ll get back to me as soon as they catch the house elf in the governor’s mansion.

    It’s good to have great friends in high places.

    Funny shit.

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  5. Ummmmmm….
    Joe has totally disconnected himself from reality…
    Did he find something even stronger than maryjane on his land…
    Maybe some magic mushrooms growing in a turd?

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  6. Nah, Mitch isn’t a troll, he’s an old decrepit turtle who should have resigned years ago, but he can’t leave the public dole and the $$ that all those lobbyists pour into his coffers.

    HH knowing them personally is interesting since he and BO publically rale against the government. He probably got the standard form letter all people get from senators and governors.

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  7. “to cause to continue the function assumed by accountability in government” is the best I could come up with. This by someone who does not believe government should have a “roll” in our lives.
    I could not begin to interpret the “Rand with the money and such and Paul with the judges and such”. Anyone want to take a stab at it?
    Regarding the first name basis, weeeeeeeeeeeeee, aren’t we so impressed with his status. oh wow. Thanks for the humor and such.

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  8. I was a close personal friend of Ed McMahon back in the day. He used to send me letters with news about these awesome magazines and contests. I’m sure if he was still alive he’d stand up for me if I needed him to.

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  9. Holy shit. Joe is pulling a Cathy “I talked to the entire senate” Harris. This is cosmic. And hilarious. Oh how I love the internet

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  10. It gets more laughable by the minute. I mean what else can one do with such a preposterous claim? He forgot to mention Matt and Rand probably found the way he lived “kind of neat.” God he is such an embarrassing, ignorant jackass.

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  11. Interested Bystander wrote:

    I was a close personal friend of Ed McMahon back in the day. He used to send me letters with news about these awesome magazines and contests.

    I enjoyed, even and especially, that giggle.

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  12. I am becoming convinced that as the number on Joe’s scale increases, there is a corresponding reduction to his few remaining brain cells. Oh Nicole, you really should have dumped this loser about nine kids ago.

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  13. If I didn’t doubt the sanity of the Nauglers before, this little slip of reality makes things pretty clear that Joe is either too stupid to live, or nutty as squirrel shit. I’m not sure which.

    Wow. Just, wow.

    My theory? Joe and Nicole are running on fear right now. And it’s not “the trolls” who are scaring them.

    I think we’re seeing a whole lot of fear posting…”righteous indignation”, “tough guy”, “we have powerful allies” bluffing and posturing…. because the shit could potentially really hit the fan if someone with ample motivation were to disclose things they’ve witnessed.

    They really seem to be ramping up a defensive posture. It’s my opinion that they’re bracing themselves for a legal battle they know is coming. And of course I could be wrong….but if it’s round, comes out of the oven and you put butter on it…it might just be a roll.

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  14. Interested Bystander, I too knew Ed quite well. But not well enough to win one of the wonderful prizes he tried to tempt me with. I get tons of emails from some princes in Nigeria who want my bank account information and some women with webcams who want to share their goodies with me and make me “hard”, which is funny, because the last time I looked I was a girl

    Delusions, delusions, delusions. This is getting better by the week.

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  15. Please release the recordings of your conversations with Matt & Rand. We know you document & record everything. It must be incredible to be on a first name basis with these high up government officials who are just biding their time for when they can show the public just how hard they’ve been working for the Naug’s. Press conferences, statements to local TV stations who have gotten the entire Naugler story wrong, even & especially the CPS officials.
    It should be a banner day.

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  16. We know their illusions of grandeur relating to their efforts to homestead, to unschool, to live off grid, to practice successful animal husbandry, and to be effective parents, so it doesn’t come as a big surprise to me that they would send an email to a public person and suddenly they are best friends with that person. While I do believe their screaming about all the “trolls” and “stalkers” is about gaining some kind of reaction from their supporters and opposers, I believe they see themselves as having such a huge fan base and are so very important with their short lived viral fling that they have paparazzi lined up to snap a picture. When Sally doesn’t post about the Naugs for a day or so, they bait and bait and bait.
    It must absolutely dishearten the two idiots beyond measure knowing that even during their child’s death, they could not muster up enough support to buy a pot to piss in or a window to throw it out of…their so, so short lived fame. And, to be frank, to have fame because they lived in a stick house, shitting in white buckets, washing in a pond, and cooking on a half-ass camp fire is no bragging matter. Joe: Do you know who I am? Average Joe: No, who the hell are you? Joe: The man who lost his kids because I couldn’t provide the basic rights due my children–a house with four walls and a roof, a pot to piss in, water to wash in, an education so they will do better, and sane, say again, sane parents. Average Joe: Dude, you lame as hell. Joe: Just to let you know, I’m recording you because we record everything in case we decide to drag your ass to court. Yeah, Joe, you the man who wears nasty crocks, has small hands, and a belly that needs its own support device.

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  17. Adorable. I actually worked on my governors very first campaign for elected office back when he was running for a lowly state representative seat. Even got a super special letter thanking me for all the time I put in and the money I helped raise. I also volunteeed on his congressional campaign and his first governors race. Does the man know my name- hell no. Maybe if he saw me he might vaguely recognize me as someone that he had probably seen somewhere before….maybe. What do I call him? Governor Inslee. Clearly, I am not as special as Jabba and Jar-jar Nozzler.

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  18. Is there a troll epidemic that I am unaware of? Is there a vaccine for it besides NOT being a total dumbass and broadcasting said dumassery online? Oh don’t you miss the good ole days, before internet, when dumbasses were seen and not heard?

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  19. All politicians have people up their butts, its the job of the constituents to make sure they are doing their job. They are not trolls they are concerned citizens. No one gives a crap about the crap stead…. why should they, N and J dont care what goes on.

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  20. Nicole posted today:

    “A few of my children will not do things like this (reference to a video of the kids dancing) due to the harassment we have suffered. They don’t want many photos or videos. After the comments they read on the unschooling video we did the were really hurt. They are healing a little better from all of this but there’s a ways to go.

    I use to think they just didn’t realize what they were doing to my family, now Ive realize they just don’t care.”

    WAIT A FUCKING MINUTER THERE, NICK!

    First off…no one says anything mean about the kids. We question the hell out of your parenting, we make observations that the kids are far behind where they should be (and have the aptitude to be if you didn’t neglect the hell out of their education), we worry that those kids have no sense of belonging or trust in the world they live in. But NO, we do NOT harass/criticize the kids. Ever. You are a bitch for implying that we do.

    Second, AND MOST IMPORTANTLY…WHO is putting the videos of the kids up for gross public consumption, Nick? Who opens them up to whatever deranged criticisms are floating around the internet? WHO VIOLATES THEIR PRIVACY and PUTS THEM IN THAT POSITION?

    YOU DO, NICOLE NAUGLER. YOU. You risk and hurt your own kids. You know there is danger and negativity, and you purposefully expose them to it. Take some fucking responsibility for YOUR actions.

    YOU don’t care that they are hurt, Nicole. YOU. You’re the one doing this to them. YOU are responsible for every bit of negativity they experience. But you’re addicted to it, and you don’t care. YOU don’t care.

    If any of your kids are still talking to you when they’re thirty, I’ll be stunned.

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