The Paranoid and Possibly Pregnant Professor Proudly Pontificates


The Queen is outraged. Just outraged. It seems that currently-employed-and-actively-teaching Dr. Brenda Schoolfield at BJU made a silly comment. When going over the roll, she said that absent students were probably “pregnant.”

She quite rapidly made a public statement about the incident, explaining that it was a slip of the tongue and she really didn’t know why she said it. I do not know Brenda Schoolfield, but I know people who do, and they pretty much unanimously assure me that she is a very nice person and there is no reason to doubt her explanation and her assurances that she is beyond embarrassed.

People say dumb shit all the time, and that includes the Queen and her Court. In fact, they say dumber shit than most, much of which is documented right here for your entertainment.


Never one to let an opportunity slip past her, the Queen begins to rant. Students are being called “sluts,” she informs us. And nobody is “safe.” Camille, that is getting old. You really need a new phrase.


Not to be outdone, St. Catherine of Victimhood chimes in. Dunno where she’s been lately, by the way. She hasn’t seen fit to offer anything about the accusations of plagiarism that have been a hot topic of conversation over there lately. I wonder why.


Somebody asks a question. The thing to remember here is that comments have to be approved by Camille before they are allowed to stay. I’m not certain if they are set so that they appear briefly and then are removed if they don’t meet her high standards, or if they simply don’t show up until they are approved, but either way, she only allows comments that she wants to be seen. She wanted this to be seen, so she could explain to this poor person how dumb he is. Which she does at length. It’s over there if you want to go read it all.


What you won’t find over there, though, is this comment from James Bow. James is not an Approved Person, however, nor was his comment one that Camille found palatable, so it was removed. This happens all the time. Regularly.

TSGoBJ is not a discussion board. It’s not a place for free and open debate or commentary. It’s a Place for the Paranoid Professor to Pontificate. That’s all it is.


What’s sort of awkward, though, is that somebody decided to disagree with James and defend the Queen, and of course, the Queen left that totally out-of-context remark in place.

Censoring is hard work.


Maytag has to chime in, albeit a bit late after all the fun was over, with her assessment. She is seriously giving Dr. Schoolfield a lecture on how to go about apologizing. Seriously.

Maytag, when are you going to apologize to Beth Murschell for the unfounded accusations you made against her? They were far worse than simply making an off-the-wall comment you shouldn’t have made. We’re waiting. Putting up a “retraction” in small type while leaving the accusations in place unaltered won’t cut it. Where is the personal apology from you to Beth? She’s never gotten one.

If you don’t know how to do it, follow your own advice about David and the Psalms.


But then this whole thing takes a bizarre turn. We go suddenly from “the professor is slut-shaming” to clandestine pregnancy tests.

It seems that “everyone knows this is true,” however nobody seems to remember the “reason given” by the school for the collection of urine specimens. They just did it. Every fall.


We’re told that we know that those urine specimens were actually pregnancy tests because some Barge employees (plural) released that information. We have no idea who the Barge employees are. We aren’t told that. Maybe it’s the same ones who told Camille that another graduate had a psychiatric history, was on medication and was seen preaching to an empty chair. This, of course, was completely false. There was no Barge nurse who told Camille anything at all. The person in question has no history of receiving psychiatric care ever, anywhere.

In short, when people tell you that some employee at Barge leaked something, discount it.


Lara now gives us a little lecture about the reasons for doing a urinalysis, because she surely knows about this.

Only she left out a big one.

For decades, a urinalysis was part of a routine physical. I got to pee in a cup every fall, too – when I was in nursing school. And I had to pee in a cup every time I went to my doctor for an annual physical. My husband played high school football and he had to do the same before every football season. He had to do so for every employment physical he ever had.

It was standard procedure to get a urinalysis on every patient who entered the hospital, no matter what the reason.


In recent years, the idea that getting a urinalysis on everyone in sight is probably not a good use of assets has swept through the medical community along with the demise (or at least severe sickness) of the annual physical itself. A normal urinalysis tells a doctor almost nothing. It costs the patient and the insurance companies money. It can also give a false feeling of security. If you have your physical and everything is normal, you tend to dismiss symptoms you might otherwise report that occur two weeks later.

A very good article on this subject is here, in case you’re interested in why your doctor probably no longer asks for a urine specimen unless you are symptomatic. There are a lot of formerly “routine” tests that are no longer routine. I am over 65, and was delighted to find out that I no longer have to have that dreaded annual PAP smear. [You younger women do, though.] My husband sees his doctor pretty much every six months or so, but he’s on medication for blood pressure and cholesterol and needs to be seen. I don’t, because I am basically healthy and take no medications.


But it was just the girls, we’re told. Just the women. Only, wait. It wasn’t.

It is much more difficult to obtain a urine sample from a woman than from a man, for anatomical reasons. It’s fairly sensible, if you’re going to collect them, to have the girls take the bottles with them to the dorm and return them later. It’s certainly the procedure I’d follow if I was put in charge of doing that.


Remember, we’re talking about Bob Jones University. This is the school that proudly served vanilla pudding with fruit cocktail stirred into it and called it “Lady Baltimore pudding.” The worst stuff on the planet, but it was cheap.


They foisted tomato sauce over rice on us and called it “shrimp creole.” Unlike the photo, they used those horrible little canned shrimp and there were only about six of them in each bowl meant to serve a table of eight people.

In short, they are cheap.


So, why in the name of common sense, would they do an expensive relatively-complicated test on every girl at the school which would tell them almost nothing? If it was negative, they wouldn’t know if it was a false negative, which were common. And what would have prevented her from getting pregnant two days after the urine specimen was collected?

In spite of all the negative feeling I have toward Bob Jones University specifically and fundamentalism in general, I don’t think they are that stupid. They would have been spending money for little gain, and putting themselves in possible legal jeopardy.


Somebody then made a simple suggestion. Why not ask?



From the Facebook group “Overheard at BJU”, we get the following commentary from the students themselves, who don’t appear to have been particularly upset by Dr. Schoolfield’s slip.

The comments are almost entirely from girls, who don’t appear to know that they were being labeled “sluts.” And please notice the number of “likes.”



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