A horse is a horse of course of course.
And no one can talk to a horse of course.
That is of course unless the horse is the famous Mr. Ed.
Go right to the source and ask the horse
He’ll give you the answer that you endorse
He’s always on a steady course
Talk to Mr. Ed
Theme to the television program, Mr. Ed
When you’re so poor that you live on marginal, crap land that can’t even support a decent garden, with no cleared pasture land of any sort, and you have no water supply, but have to haul it all in using white buckets, you try your best to do something about your situation. Don’t you?
And when you’re so poor that you don’t even have a house but jerry-rig a three-sided shack that would just barely be housing for a couple of goats, and it’s so bad that your children are removed by the state and you have to go online and beg money from strangers, and you buy a garden shed to live in but squander the rest of the money on heaven knows what, you try your best to do something about your situation. Don’t you?
And when you’re so poor and stupid that you refuse to use any birth control for anyone including your pets, and you keep reproducing like you don’t know what causes it, having one baby after another without even being able to afford the original two or three or four, you try your best to do something about your situation. Don’t you?
No. You don’t.
Instead, you get a horse.
Because that is exactly what you need. An animal that does nothing at all but eat and shit and hang out. A great big animal that does nothing at all and is quite capable of killing you without meaning to do it. That’s what you do.
When you have been to court already because you cannot keep your animals contained on your property, and you have no fencing at all, it makes sense to get a horse, doesn’t it?
Ever buy one of these?
Maybe not this exact one (this is the same printer we have), but one similar?
You know how the printer really doesn’t cost very much (this particular one is $72, which is the most I’ve ever paid for a printer), but the ink will bankrupt you?
Horses are like that.
It’s October. In the fall, horses are often sold for a fraction of their value because the owner is going into winter and knows exactly what it is going to cost to feed that horse, and doesn’t want that expense. So he sells it cheap. Or even gives it away.
You know, a brown horse. They’re a dime a dozen in Kentucky.
And often, when people want to dump one of these animals in the fall, they don’t even check to see what sort of place they are putting it. They don’t necessarily care. They just know what hay and grain cost and they don’t want to have to buy them.
I could make a list of what it costs to keep a horse. It’s like cartridges for the printer. You can buy the OEM cartridges that cost $30 each, or you can go online and get the cheap knockoffs that have half the ink and leak for $10. Or you can get really cheap and try to refill them yourself and have ink leak out all inside your printer so that you end up having to buy a new one.
But of course the printer isn’t alive, and the brownish horse is, at least for now, until Nicole goes online and threatens to put it down unless somebody comes and gets it in a week.
I don’t know about Breckinridge County, but around here, you know, in the Russell Springs area (since Nicole is doxing me), square bales of decent hay run about $4/bale in winter. The price goes up as winter progresses. And if you have no place to store hay, you have to buy it frequently. It’s far cheaper to buy the big round bales, but you have to be able to handle those and the Nauglers can’t. And you can’t feed a horse the kind of shit hay that you can get away with feeding to beef cattle. You have to buy decent hay.
A typical horse will eat about 15-20 pounds of hay daily. An average bale around here weighs about 40 pounds. That means it costs, using square bales, about $2/day to feed a horse. And the price goes up, as I said, the longer the winter goes on. And that’s just hay. Grain is extra. Hoof trimming is extra, and woe is you if you don’t have it done. When you have zero pasture, that expense goes on year-round. A vet will charge you about $100 just to come out, and you can’t take the animal in if you don’t own a trailer. But of course, they won’t get a vet. They’ll just forage around and come up with “herbal remedies off the land.”
These folks are gonna have to haul water for a horse. Just the thought of doing that makes me cringe. In winter, it freezes and you have to bust the ice. Often.
Horses don’t “free range.” They need a place to live. You can’t just tie one up to the side of your garden shed like in the movies.
Please tell me that this is a shower shed and not a horse shed. Please.
If this is intended to house a horse, I am never going to stop laughing. What is with all the sticks? Does bamboo grow in abundance on that shitty land? It must.
Anyway, the Nauglers now have a horse, or at least it appears that they do. Somebody saw it tied to their garden shed as they passed by.
You know, because that is exactly what they need.
Maybe it was just visiting. One can always hope.