Buckets and Bows

bucket and bow

Today I am going to peer into the future for your evening entertainment.

Wait.  I need a crystal ball to do that.  Hang on a second.  Be right back.

craystal ball cracked

Here we go.

Oh, wait. That one’s cracked. I can’t see anything in it.  I need to check the other closet.

crystal ball

That’s better. I can see something coming through.

It looks like. . . wait. . . it’s getting clearer. . . here it comes. . .

Bows.

The burning question for this evening for our crystal ball is this.

How many bows would it take to pay for a porta-potty for an entire year?

That involves math.  And math, of course, is. . . let me hear it. . . all together now. . .

Hard.

But we’ll try.  (All figures here are approximate and rounded up to the nearest reasonable figure so we don’t have to work with enormous long fractions which are very scary indeed.)

A porta-potty costs $106 per month.  That’s $1272 annually.  That’s a lot of bows.  A whole lot of bows.

But how many is it exactly?

Well, the answer to that is “it depends.”  It  depends on how much you can sell them for.  I looked on Ebay to see what they sell for, and damn, it is all over the map. It depends on how big they are. The bigger, of course, the more they cost.

So, I just did a little averaging.  (Look that up if you don’t know how to average. It’s math and it’s hard, but it’s so worth it.)

If you were able to sell an assortment of bows, say, all the bows offered on a particular website, one set per customer, at full price, you’d need to sell 5.4 sets of them to pay for a porta-potty for a whole year.  That’s a lot of bows.

Yeah, a whole lot.

I counted to see how many it would be.

1380.

One thousand, three hundred and eighty bows.

Golly, how much time is that?

Well, I had no idea but I’ve been told that education is easy. All you have to do is go to YouTube and you can find anything you want. So I went to YouTube to see how long it takes to make dog bows.

And the answer is “it depends.”

It depends on what kind of bow. Simple ties take one minute or so (and I think that 90 seconds is a better estimate because the person in the video had all the supplies ready and had already cut and prepared the pieces). More elaborate flowers take at least two minutes, probably closer to 2 1/2 minutes because the “teacher” had everything pre-prepared.

So let’s be do some averaging and say 2 minutes per bow.

That’s 2760 minutes or 46 hours.

46 hours of non-stop work to make enough bows to sell to pay for a porta-potty for a whole year.  More than a week’s labor, and that’s with no breaks or lunch or anything.

My goodness.

And of course, we are assuming here that all those 1380 pieces can be sold at full price without having to put them on sale.

But we have not factored in the cost of the materials.

ribbons

I wasn’t exactly sure how to estimate material costs, but decided to give it a try, since you can learn anything on the internet, or at least, that’s what I’ve been told.

My guess is that you can get ribbon for 225 ties for about $20.  Maybe a bit less if you don’t use grosgrain. For the flowers, I am going to guess they cost about $.25 each.  They come in clusters and are taken apart, and if  you find them on sale, it works out to about that.  I am also going to assume that by buying in bulk, you can avoid shipping costs. That’s a big assumption and probably not true all the time.

Then there are extra bits of ribbon and little stickers and hot glue and those dental bands (package of 100 is about $5).

So let’s assume that you use one band on each bow.  There are 1380 bows. That’s $69 worth of dental bands.

And let’s assume that half your bows are ties (unlikely, but let’s be optimistic here, and besides, all this math is hard), and half are flowers.

That’s 690 ties. We can get ribbon for 225 for around $20, so that’s approximately $60 for ribbon.  That’s also 690 flowers which would come in at about $172.

Let’s see. That gives us a total about $300 just in basic materials.  Let’s toss in another $25 for hot glue and assorted little crap that I haven’t thought of.

$325 in materials.

We make the customer pay shipping and make sure the shipping charges are high enough to also include packaging.

Well, that means that we have to make approximately 25% more bows in order to net enough money to pay for the porta-potty, or 1725 bows.  It would also take about 11 additional hours, making a total of 57 hours.

Consider, of course, that we are talking about some seriously fast, very good labor here, working non-stop.  We only are timing when the bows are being made, not when the workers are horsing around.

What else could you buy with $1272 if you simply didn’t have to pay for a porta-potty for whole year?

What could you do with $106 extra per month? Or an extra 5 hours?

Is it worth all that just to insist on flinging shit on the ground?

crystal ball potty

 

 

 

 

 

16 thoughts on “Buckets and Bows”

  1. So essentially the fine for not composting their poop or getting a permit for septic or outhouse, is a minimum of $1,200 plus court costs and any fines or bond. Never mind future costs possible due to potential contamination.

    Winning in poopistan. Hahahaha.

  2. As a groomer my biggest expense is bows and bling items I can easily go through 200.00 a month just on ribbon alone. You learn to visit dollar tree often for supplies like glue sticks and cheap sheer ribbon and to cut up kids party favors to use as centers. But I don’t sell mine. If your going to sell your products the quality needs to be better and the price goes up. When Dumbass worked for me I taught her how to make many of the things she sells, I also added her into groomer buy in groups that gave her access to nicer ribbons often for about .35-50 a yard, better quality centers and things like that. Of course we all know she repaid that by selling things I showed her how to make to my competition. I honestly wish I had never shown her anything, but live and learn. Her stuff she has for sale is crap because she cuts corners any way she can. A simple look on etsy will show you the difference in quality. And if your reading this (of course you are) …. Fuck you

  3. Finally a way that Joe can help out the family while still sitting on his ass.
    He better pull those sausage fingers our of his ass and get busy.

  4. Patricia, I had a feeling I was estimating very low on supplies, but I was trying to be kind. 🙂

  5. The camping ribbon on the tie is about 4-5.00 a roll at hobby lobby but they have sales often so mane 2.50-3.00 for 9 ft.. I can look at the spool tomorrow and really tell you

  6. Sally I would have to say that you are really low on supplies.
    Of course if you can use a coupon when buying the stuff that helps.

    I use to do a lot of crafting and was always on the look out for close out deals and good sales. Even doing that supplies add up fast. Then to make a good product you have to take the time and effort to do it right. Well if you want repeat customers. With my craft experience there is no way she is making much at all on these bows unless she is buying wholesale and I doubt that.

    Of course she has cheap well free labor she has the kids make them. Hey it is work and that is considered unschooling. Right?

    The kids have to be making the bows and washing the dogs, cause there is no way in hell that she is doing it all. The time she spends online alone makes it amazing that she has the time to groom let alone bath and make bows.

    My daughter did cute craft things when she was a kid and sold them. She did not make a lot of money as she sold to family and friends. She did it more for fun and no way was it to contribute to the family income. We did not need her to contribute as parents it was our responsibility to support all of her needs not her helping to support herself. When she got older she babysat and then worked her way up to a real employment job when she was 16. She has been working ever since that age. But even as a teen her money was hers to spend on what she wanted not to help support the family.

    It is sad that those kids are being used as sweat shop labor in lieu of getting a good education. Maybe Nicole needs to do a video having the kids describe the cost of making bows and the profit from selling them. Now that would be a real unschooling video. Well if they did all the figures on their own with out having the information handed to them to recite.

  7. Trying to generate income using something that most people treat as a business expense is so…Naugler.

    And I bet that everybody else will be to blame when it doesn’t work.

  8. I wonder how many years have to go by before Hobby Lobby will accept a check from someone who stiffed them in the past?

    Hobby Lobby
    7707 SW 44th St
    Oklahoma City, OK 73179 (10979214)
    (cr)

  9. To get a Facebook blue check verification you have to be a legitimate business. Provide a public business phone number and/or business invoice. My question: what business was the Nicole C Naugler Facebook page? Beggars R Us?

  10. I am always left amazed by Nicole’s choices. She and her husband choose to waste money that they can barely scrape up just so they can believe that they are being defiant? They have indentured themselves to the state that they were determined not to be ‘whores’ of. They did this by making lifestyle and behavioral choices that resulted in state intervention, penalizing, and increased oversight on them specifically. Yet Nicole likes to refer to those of us with jobs as slaves when she, through her choices, has less freedom to do as she chooses than those of us who work and pay our taxes and bills. A lifestyle of filth, poverty, antagonism of everyone, too many kids, absolutely idle bum of a husband, neglect, perpetual trouble with the law, makeshift housing financed by online grifting, con-artistry, dog grooming, and ephemera. She wanted this lifestyle? She needs a mental evaluation badly.

  11. After browsing their new attack page I am convinced that the train is close to derailing at the Naugler homestead. The frantic posts, the name calling, the lack of logic….it is pretty vile stuff.

    I admire your restraint Sally. Sending you good vibes (well, I am going to pray for you. I know you arent into all that, but I am and you are on the list today).

  12. Sculder&Mully,

    Add to that:
    *. Government oversight and control over raising their children and where they can move.
    *. Government oversight over whether Joe can drink or do drugs. Just like being under 21 again, the answer is NO.
    *. Government oversight preventing Joe from getting within 500 feet of the neighbors in public (or private with exception of own property).
    *. Government oversight preventing Joe from violating the law, also known as Probation or else government reservations in the County Jail.
    *. Government oversight of Nicole breaking the law or else charges will be tried.
    *. Government oversight of their animals.
    *. Government oversight over where they can crap.

    They have managed to chain themselves to the government through bad deeds, bad deals, conditions, plea agreements and general stupidity.

    They have made themselves the governments bitch, and I think they like it. They sucked at running their own lives so they handed it over to a higher power, the government, and we all get to pay for it because they are government whores in more ways than one.

  13. Payment processing fees can eat about 5%, and eBay charges a 10% fee on things that sell. Better make more bows.

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