Bitches and Crackers

BECdefinition

Have you ever disliked somebody so much that everything they did or said just annoyed the hell out of you?

I think we all have.

For example, I think that there were (are?) a whole lot of people in America who have disliked our current president so much that no matter what he said, they were against it.  They despise the way he looks, the way he talks, the way he walks.  They despise his whole family.

And I am in the cohort of folks who are gearing up to do the exact same thing for the next four years. I’m not sure Trump could do anything that I wouldn’t closely scrutinize and probably criticize.  I’m going to attempt to not do that, but I’m not sure that I will be successful.

This is a human trait, one we all share.

And for many of us who participate here, Nicole Naugler is our BEC.

This was kind of brought home to me this morning when I saw that some of you thought the meme I posted yesterday was taken from Nicole’s page. Those of you who thought that seem to have immediately criticized her for it, even though she didn’t post it. I did.

I want you to think about that for a minute.

When you thought Nicole did it, you thought critical things of her.

When you found out that she did not do it, but I did, did you find your critical thoughts vanishing? Did the fact that it was me and not her make a difference in how you perceived it?

It’s okay. I am not being critical of anyone in particular.  As far as I can determine, we are all prone to this sort of thing (the BEC Syndrome).

As we go into a new year, a lot of folks like to hit the reset button.  Let’s do that here. Let’s make a pact that going forward, we will avoid the BEC Syndrome as much as we possibly can, or at the very least, recognize that we’re doing it.

Everything Nicole posts is not false, or stupid.  Every single purchase she makes is not a poor choice. All her bows are not ugly. Trying to make a bit of money by being an Amazon affiliate is not smarmy or dishonest. She gets up most days and goes to work doing something that is honest and difficult.

And now I am sitting here trying to think of something positive to say about Joe and I am having a great deal of difficulty. 🙂

Here’s something (I finally thought of it):  In the photos of him with the kids at the lake/river/swimming place, he looks cheerful and happy and so do the kids.

Every person, every single person, has both positive and negative traits. Some folks have a preponderance of one and a paucity of the other, but remember that Hitler liked dogs and President Obama (while almost perfect in my eyes) is way too easy-going.

If Trump decides to visit a homeless shelter on a holiday and serve up meals, and it’s clearly not just a 45-second photo op, I am going to try very hard not to hate the way he is holding the ladle.

Have a very nice day, folks.

39 thoughts on “Bitches and Crackers”

  1. Good reminder of a perpetual resolution I have, which boils down to “try to be a better person this year”.

  2. For me, it’s truly not that you have swayed my opinion about Nicole. I do however enjoy the way you just lay it all out there, untwisting Nicole’s take on things so that rational people can comprehend. But my opinion of Nicole and Joe is based on what Nicole and Joe have done and said, and what they continue to do and say. They are sad and fascinating at the same time.

    Your blog and its comments are not what shapes my thoughts about the Nauglers. It’s just a confirmation that I am not alone. 🙂

    I wish you all, (and yes, that includes the Naugler bunch) a very Happy Holiday Season and a prosperous New Year!

  3. Thank you for this. I’m sure I have a couple things in common with Nicole. I’m distrustful of our government and many politicians and I think homeschooling, when done properly, can provide children with a quality education that avoids some of the pitfalls of classroom education. Many of her bows are indeed cute and I hope to God her business is successful for the sake of her family.

    I cannot support much of what she does, of course, which is why I’m here. But I agree, to act like she cannot do anything right dilutes the impact of where she is very, very wrong. Stick to criticizing what is truly awful about Nicole and Joe. There’s plenty there. Demonizing Joe’s oldest for coming forward about abuse. Doxxing people and harassing their employers for merely having an opinion. Keeping her children in filth. Not actually educating them. Freebirthing in filth without proper medical care for mom and baby. Saying horrible things about people who have lost children. Barging in on uninvolved businesses and using derogatory language on hapless business owners. Joe’s unwillingness to get a job. Wasting $45k+ on a sham. Lying every day about their lives on the “homestead.” And so on.

    There’s plenty there, there. Stick to the issues–they’re damming enough.

    Merry Christmas to those who celebrate!

  4. I finished my family dinner and I was doing my daily reading of the shit show on facebook. The picture of the poor horse with his ribs showing….even some of the humpers are saying you should NOT be able to see ribs. 🙁

  5. I agree with everything you said here.

    That being said, the daughter’s horse is really malnourished.

    Merry Christmas to you and your family, Sally.

  6. I have a tough time with her being a BEC. Someone that abuses animals and kids does not get to have a BEC card.

  7. I will try harder but when you spent time knowing someone and at some point you considered them a friend and then were let down time and time again it’s hard. Thanks for the perspective though. Hope you are having a lovely and relaxing day.

  8. Just saw the picture of the horse.

    I did too, just now. I am not a horse person. I am a donkey and cow person.

    My donkeys and my cattle live well indeed. In fact, they appear to live in luxury.

  9. I have a tough time with her being a BEC.

    I get it. I understand. But when she is criticized for minutia, it dilutes the gravity of the real beefs.

  10. BLB That makes sense. I have often been bothered when her
    bows or grooming pictures are scrutinized and called ugly
    or bad when clearly their not, or it just seems like she is being picked apart just for the heck of it. It backfires and takes credibility away from the real issues.
    (Pictures of meals not so much. I judge when I see her close ups of mushy processed food. 😝)
    Having said all this I just saw the horse picture and I am again filled with a horrible mixture of rage and sadness. Can someone local please contact the appropriate authorities. Also the picture and her comment that the horse is fine needs to be SS because she is catching flack from supporters and will remove it soon.

  11. Can someone local please contact the appropriate authorities.

    The horse has obviously lost weight. The “paddock” is pathetic at best. The horse could get out anytime she wishes to do so. But nobody is going to do anything about that horse at this point.

    Unfortunately, I know of horses kept in conditions similar to that right around here. Some are better fed than others.

    The horse is not eating an entire bale of hay daily unless they are the smallest bales on earth and the shittiest hay on earth. My cow, who eats more than anyone on earth (that I know of), doesn’t even eat an entire bale of hay in a single day. Hay bales do vary considerably in size and weight (good hay weighs more usually). But the Nauglers very likely wouldn’t know what good hay was if they fell over it. That’s not to diss them. That’s just a fact. I wasn’t born knowing about good hay. I learned about it by buying some bad hay. LOL

    We’ve been known to buy several bales of hay (from different sources) and let Frances tell us which one she prefers. It’s an interesting experiment. The most expensive hay isn’t necessarily her favorite. And she leaves no room for doubt about what she likes.

  12. One commenter ssys the horse’s eyes look bright. I am not a horse expert but before I even noticed the ribs, I thought the horse looked dull. Also, the same poster uses the fact that the horse is supporting the daughter’s weight as evidence it’s doing well. That’s a pretty low bar. Can you imagine how badly off a horse would have to be to buckle under the weight of an average sized teen girl?!

  13. I thought the horse looked dull.

    I thought so too.

    One of our donkeys had a bout recently with her feet. Unbeknownst to us, we had a crappy farrier. Just terrible. He simply was not trimming her feet correctly and she got a pulled ligament in one leg. And when she was standing, she looked like that mare. Just resigned and not delighted.

    We tend to spend a few minutes every day or two and just watch our animals. By doing that, we know what they are like when they feel good, and we know when they are “off.” I can take one look at Frances and know when she is under the weather.

  14. One way to tell if a “square” bale of hay is any good is to turn it so that the small end is up/down and drop it. If it bounces, it’s good (not rotten). That doesn’t mean it’s going to be horse quality hay but at least you aren’t buying a bale that is mildewed and going to be wasted.

    Beauty needs a lot of things:

    T-post caps so she doesn’t impale herself (just a matter of time/luck), a red mineral salt block, HORSE QUALITY HAY – that means something far better than what they feed goats, her hooves need trimming, she needs a shelter, it wouldn’t hurt to find a used waterproof blanket for her – RUG HER UP at night and when you attach the rear straps they criss-cross AND end up on the same side they started on, she’s wormy and I doubt they have any idea what they’re doing re: rotating dewormer or actually having a plan of action (I suggest five days of double-dose panacur, then Quest a week later), Nicole – you have NO IDEA what is going on with that mare’s teeth – knock it off.

    The hard cold wet days of winter are coming and the mare has lost condition. She needs more high quality hay. She needs clean warm water and 10-20 gallons per day. I strongly suggest that you get her on Triple Crown Senior feed. OR you can try a 50:50 mixture of Legends Sr with beet pulp with NO molasses – mix it up, make it a nice warm mash. STOP FEEDING HER CRAPPY HAY.

  15. http://myhorseforum.com/threads/calories-per-pound-reference-chart.269159/

    Abigail – please read this and then call someone at a feed store – any feed store – to help you set up a better feeding regime for your mare.

    If you can get your hands on Triple Crown Senior – use it. You can increase the calories with ONE cup of oil per meal. Don’t overdo it and don’t try to substitute oil for hay or a good sweet feed. You don’t want her sugar content to be too high either. That is why the ESC and NSC levels matter and why I recommend the TC Senior (if possible). You can sometimes get coupons to take a few bucks off of the price per bag. In magazines and online. Your mom will have to sign up with Southern States to get the promotions. Or you will have to do so with your email account.

    Also, she’s a QH if memory serves. I don’t know if you have papers on her or not. HYPP is now noted on registration papers. IF she has HYPP, that will affect what you feed her and WHY.

    http://www.tributehorsefeeds.com/publisher/metabolic-issues/2012/5/31/nutritional-suggestions-for-equine-hyperkalemic-periodic-paralysis-hypp/

    Richardson’s Feed & Pet Center LLC
    313 Old Preston Hwy South
    Shepherdsville, KY They carry Tribute feeds (don’t know this brand – you’ll have to do your homework)

    Southern States dealers that may be in your area:

    Address: 122 Old Hwy 60, Hardinsburg, KY 40143
    Phone:(270) 756-2352

    Address: 402 S. Mulberry St., Elizabethtown, KY 42701
    Phone:(270) 769-1331

    She needs more good groceries at the very least.

  16. It is so outrageously aggravating that once people start asking or suggesting that the horse is not well and she might want to do some further investigating, she of course decides she is being attacked because she was just trying to share a sweet picture of their day. The response from her leghumpers to her butthurt is a bunch of apologies and walking on eggshell responses. If everything you all are suggesting is true (bad hay, lack of water, possible worms etc) why will animal welfare do nothing? This is gross. She is gross. What does she get out of mistreating living creatures? I am over and out for the night. Sorry for serial posting.

  17. That horse is in very poor condition. The eyes are bright commenter is a moron. First her body language screams being “off” or unwell. As someone else said, likely wormy and dehydrated for staters.
    Her deteriorating body condition in 2 months is startling. Nicole posted photos of this mare on her BLH blog on Oct. 23rd. Go and look at them and then take a look at today’s photo. The weight loss alone is disturbing.
    Her coat, while wintering, is dull. Her hooves need attention. And I can’t tell if it’s the angle of the photo or not but at first glance it seems as if there is something odd with that right ankle.
    This poor mare is not getting either enough nutrition, the wrong kind of nutrition or both. We all knew that this would happen. Here is the proof in a photo.
    This photo is already circulating in groups that are even more fanatatical than the dog people were. And I know that reports have been made to Animal Control and state agencies. I disagree with Sally that these folks won’t do anything. The sad thing is that an agency like CPS can barely help the Naugler kids because there are so many of them. A single horse however is different. Pretty warped really. At least some living creature will get a reprieve from the legacy of neglect on the shitstead.

  18. why will animal welfare do nothing?

    Because there are so many animals mistreated they simply cannot keep up. The horse is losing condition. She has clearly lost weight. But she is not on her last legs, so they will do nothing.

    We don’t know that she lacks water. We do know that they do not have running water at the Shitstead and have to haul it. That means that it’s harder to get fresh water for the horse daily than it is for other people.

    We don’t know that they have bad hay. We do know that Nicole doesn’t know what the hell she is talking about – the horse is not eating an entire bale of hay a day – not good hay. Whatever she is eating, it quite obviously isn’t enough to keep her from losing weight.

    Nicole said they wormed her. That may well be true, but worming is tricky. With goats, I know that the worms become resistant to the wormer so you have to rotate them. I assume it’s the same way with horses. With our cattle, it’s seasonal and I have a special (very, very expensive) wormer that I use on Frances because she can have it while being milked. And I hope to hell that Nicole doesn’t mean that they fed her some stupid “natural” concoction. Those don’t work.

    What does she get out of mistreating living creatures?

    I cannot imagine that any of them do that on purpose. I think they simply bite off more than they can chew and have managed to totally piss off anyone in the area who would be willing to help mentor them. What they needed was Al, but they treated him like total shit, so that’s out.

  19. . I disagree with Sally that these folks won’t do anything.

    I hope to hell that you are correct and that I get to eat those words. I will quite happily do so.

  20. We rotate workers with our dogs as well. We worm 4 times a year – seasonally – because we share trails with, quite literally, thousands of dogs. Rotating workers helps to prevent worms who become resistant to the products being used. It’s simple and while an expense, it’s one to be expected when you take on animals.
    And Sally, if you have to eat your words, do you like hot sauce? Lol.

  21. omg the photos of the horse from when they first got it compared to now show a very stark contrast and deterioration in the animal’s health.

  22. It is best to rotate horse wormer.
    As for that horse eating a bale of hay a day – look in the paddock area behind the horse. There is a lot of hay spread around. A hay rack helps to keep it up off the ground and from being wasted. Some will fall to the ground but not that much. Also horses really do not like eating dirty hay either so it is not going to eat that scattered hay on the ground.
    Cheap feed is not going to help either. Spend a bit more and get what the horse needs. This is a young horse at 5 years old and should not be a hard keeper unless they bought a sick horse.
    As for teeth Nicole can not tell shit by looking at them as she knows shit about horses. Teeth can look good but run your fingers over them to see if you feel sharp points. If you do then they need to be floated. You will not always see the sharp points but will feel them most of the time.
    Also the horse needs lots of clean water each day. With them hauling water I bet the horse is probably not getting the clean water it needs. Horse drink a lot of water.
    If there is no shelter for the horse to get into another reason food needs to be the best quality and more of it if the horse will eat it as it will be burning calories trying to keep warm.
    Feet are a must to be well taken care of. Poor feet on a horse and you will have a horse that is not happy and can get unhealthy.
    I have never seen well taken care of young horses loose that much weight in two months unless they were very sick.
    I agree that the fencing is not right either. T post unless capped a horse can and do get hurt really bad. Also the horse is pastured where they had the raised bed gardens with the cement blocks. That is a danger to the horse if they should get spooked and run into them. Pastures and paddocks should be clear of all obstacles. Fences should not have any wires sticking up as it can puncture the horse. Puncture wounds are a bitch to heal as most time you do not realize they are there until they are well infected.
    That horse is not happy. As for bright eyes Amanda plain out lied about that there is no way to tell the horse has bright eyes in that picture. Yes some times even winter coats can be dull but again that is a sign that the horse is not well fed or sick. Ribs should be felt not seen like they are. I guess when the hip bones are really sticking up they will realize the horse is starving.
    Cold cold winter has not even arrived and this horse has lost so much weight that something is wrong and in 2 months time.

  23. I get what Sally’s saying about the big messages getting lost in the minutia.

    That said, I really am concerned about the horse.

    I showed folks at my Christmas gathering today the pics from October and the pics today. These folks are serious horse people. One is a veterinarian, others have raised and kept horses for generations.

    General consensus among the folks here…is that the horse is thinner than they are comfortable with, but not dangerously thin yet…..but that she has lost an alarming 150 pounds since the pictures in October.

    Running a fecal test at a veterinary clinic would be a great idea to make sure they’re using the right kind of wormer for the parasites on their land. (this shouldn’t cost very much…you just bring some poop in a sack and they call you later with the results and worming recommendation) Vet also suggested bringing a flake of hay in a plastic bag to the clinic, so people with a little more experience can weigh in on the hay’s nutritional content and offer suggestions to adjust the feed ration. Also, pics from October and today would help. This will help the folks at the clinic help to guide you in the right direction and achieve a good balance.

    This article has a nice tool to figuring out horse weight through several measurements with a measuring tape http://www.thehorse.com/articles/31852/adult-horse-weight-calculator

    My peanut gallery strongly suggests you measure the horse and record her estimated weight every week. If she continues to drop weight, she should get a veterinary evaluation.

    At this point, I’m going to try to reserve judgement (it’s a little challenging, but I’m really trying)…vet here was empathetic and said a lot of first-time horse owners get it wrong at first, and need some help figuring out how to maintain healthy weight. That said….she also said that 150 pounds in two months is a serious weight loss, and that’s she’s concerned and hopes they address the issue quickly.

    Please, please, please do some research on making your fencing safer. Please work on a makeshift shelter. Getting wet and losing all that heat is costing your horse thousands of calories. That means more food. Shelter=less hay=less expense.

    Cap the T-posts. You can get cheap plastic caps at the farm store. Horses are fear addicts….they will FIND ways to hurt themselves in their panic and it’s never a good situation. Worse….a young girl who has more love than sense can get HER self hurt badly trying to help.

    Make sure your mare gets 10-20 gallons of clean water every day.

    Needing to have her teeth floated is a realistic concern. You said your mare was 5…and that’s the average age horses need their first tooth filing (and annually there after). Ask the previous owner if she’s ever had it done. If not, it probably is time to at least have her teeth checked. (Horses teeth continually grow and they can develop sharp painful edges that makes eating difficult…these need to be filed)

    They do not call horses “hay burners” for nothing. Horses are a tremendous expense. They injure themselves and need a lot of maintenance to stay healthy. Safe confinement can be challenging, too.

    Please realize that a 14 year old might not have the maturity necessary to deal with all of these complexities on her own. She needs adult help with this project. Her heart is so plainly invested in this horse….please help her.

  24. The poster above is correct…..it is winter and horse grow a winter coat. The fact that the coat is dull, by itself, doesnt mean much. I would even be inclined to give her somewhat of a pass if you could see ribs because of the winter coat. I have seen horses that gets thicker patches of hair in those areas in the winter. It could be a shadow.

    You can see that mare’s hips and there is no excuse for that. Couple that with the nauglers history…..that horse is not being properly fed and/or wormed.

    It was anice drwam while it lasted Sally, but there is a reason Nikki is a BEC. Posting this picture completely oblivious to the fact that her animal is in poor condition is why she finds herself in the position that she is in. Most people would be ashamed if their animals looked like that.

  25. I do wonder how they get the horse all the water it needs.

    From what I remember from the period of my life when I was around horses, their expressions can sometimes change quickly. Not knowing this particular critter’s personality and what else might have been going on nearby, someone could have been making a noise that bothered it at the same time pictures were being taken.

    I can’t help thinking that it needs the horse equivalent of a cheeseburger though. That picture shows too much ribcage to be a good thing. Does Hardees have combo meals for livestock by any chance?

  26. Great post! A good day to remember to not let our anger and disgust at the Naug situation take over so we attack every tiny detail of their lives.
    Leave the furor for what really counts! There is always plenty of that in Naugland.
    We haven’t had horses for many years but I still immediately noticed the horses ribs.
    So sad she is standing in a muddy field. Won’t she get hoof rot?
    The horse is obviously loved but that does not equal good horse care.

  27. I don’t know about the care of horses, just how to draw them. The child’s drawing/wood etching looks awesome, btw. The actual horse, not so much. The only time I see hips that bony is in cartoons when they’re drawing old, hobbled horses.

    I don’t think it’s BEC to call a family on adopting an animal they were in no way prepared to care for. If they are willing to neglect their children, it’s not a stretch to imagine they’d neglect their animals, too.

  28. @Essie – A’s drawing is indeed quite good. She seems to be pretty artsy and good at it. Wouldn’t it be wonderful for her to really study art?

  29. I’m that person who doesn’t immediately jump to BEC. I look for justifications, and when there are none, then it’s game on. I think that’s clear from my posts where I will defend Nicole on something, and I have defended Trump on certain things (his comments about veterans suffering PTSD being weak, which he did NOT say, his young son finishing the school year before moving, etc), and I’ll continue to when appropriate. Let me warn you that people will hate you and see you as a Nicole-supporter or accuse you of being a Trump-supporter. Fuck ’em though.

  30. You are better people than I am.
    Once you threaten someones child all the good stuff washes away for me.

    There is no one else on this planet I feel like this about, then again, no one else has threatened me by using images of my child as if to say “we know where you live and what your child looks like, keep your mouth shut or else”

    She can sit in a corner of the shed and eat her outdated stale crackers, and i’ll keep staring at her hating everything she does.

    I’m ok with that

  31. I’ve actually found a ton of pity for her lately. Not enough to give her money, but she’s not well. And her life, considering how many children she has, has to be lonely. Joe is a giant manbaby– I don’t know if he’s my BEC, but he just strikes me as selfish and lazy and cruel and angry because the world hasn’t given him what he feels he’s entitled to. And, as someone who has BEEN angry because the world hasn’t given me what I thought I was entitled to, I know people like that take it out on other people. I think at this point he’s another petulant child to care for and another mouth to feed and she’s burnt out to the point where she is lashing out, too.

    I have two kids. I love them dearly, and more importantly, I LIKE them. I feel the same way about my husband. We are mostly pretty damn happy together.

    HOWEVER.

    I went through a phase a few weeks ago where he was working all the time and I was with the kids all the time and we were really busy leading up to Christmas and I was like, guys, I am so irritable, I am about to lose it. And I did lose it, the morning of the 23. I yelled at my husband. I yelled at both kids. I was like OH MY GOSH OLDEST KID STOP TALKING. HUSBAND, STOP FUCKING CHEWING. I JUST CLEANED THIS HOUSE AND IT’S A PIGSTY AND CAN SOMEONE PLEASE PUT THE BABY’S GODDAMNED CLOTHES ON AGAIN? And I stomped upstairs and slammed the door.

    I’m still super irritable and need some downtime away from the kids, but feel too guilty to take it right now. Christmas is just sensory overload and major pressure for me and I can’t imagine that isn’t what she feels like every day. With so many kids, and Joe as her husband, she is working full time, coming home and having 12-13 people compete for her attention. The place is a mess, and she just has to be on the edge of losing it. I can’t help but feel sorry for that.

  32. The Nauglers are not my BECs. I have one, it’s just not Nicole or Joe. Everything they do does not get under my skin.

    However, my biggest pet peeve about the internet, and people who use it, is the spread of misinformation. And this is something that Nicole does constantly. Like 9 out of 10 of her posts are absolute bullshit. What does she do, Google shit news everyday? Does she ever research a thing she shares? I guess we all know the answer to that. She doesn’t even read half of what she posts much less research anything. And then when someone asks her if she verified her source, her information, she always, always replies……”I don’t have time for that.” or “I’ll get to it later.” And as with everything Nicole starts, later never comes, and verification is never done.

    Ok. Done ranting. Nicole, you should be banned from social media of any type, forever.

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