Adoption Incentives

Nicole dare

I probably cannot convince you, Nicole, but yes, your shitshack is worse than that.

Your link, of course, is to a Facebook page that is highly biased against Child Protectives Services of any sort, any where. In following your story, which you and Joe wanted to “go viral,” I have been struck by how many of your followers are people who themselves have had dealings with CPS, and in almost every case, they are pure as the driven snow and did absolutely nothing to merit the attention of the state.

Makes me wonder how we managed to raise a son to adulthood, and home school him for five of those years, and never once had a single problem with the state at all.

Guess we were just lucky, huh?

Anyway, that money is not payment for “corruption” and “child trafficking.”  It is money the federal government uses to help states, to use the federal government’s terminology, “incentivize adoption.”

Whether you understand it or not, there really are children out there who don’t have any family. Or they don’t have any family that is worthy of the name.

When your case came to my attention, I was so appalled by the whole thing that I had a wee conversation, over a beer, with a friend who is a deputy sheriff. I couldn’t imagine why the state would put your children back in those horrible conditions. It made no sense to me at all.

You know what he said?  You wanna know?

He said that he’s seen so much worse that it would curl my hair. He said that the state is so overwhelmed with children who need to be removed from terrible conditions that they have to really do what amounts to triage. And that the ones who end up in foster care with parental rights totally terminated are usually those cases that involve drugs, particularly meth.

He said that if a parent in Kentucky makes the slightest effort, even a teensy one like buying a four-walled garden shed to replace a shitshack, that will be enough to get custody returned. Kentucky does not want your children. Kentucky wants you to pay the bill to raise your children.

I know your kids are cute.  But there are a lot of cute kids out there. Lots of them. And Nicole, the truth is that nobody but you and Joe wants your children. Nobody.  I’m sure that stings a little bit, but you need to face it. Nobody is laying in wait to try to take your children away from you.  Nobody is frothing at the mouth in anticipation of spending the bazillion dollars per child it costs to raise a kid to adulthood.

[And I am quite aware that you will screen shot the above paragraph and post it so your followers can be all aghast that I would dare say that nobody wants your precious little darlings.  You will be taking it totally out of context and you know you will be doing that, and I know you will be doing that, but you will do it anyway.  You will not include the paragraph directly below where I say the exact same thing about my own child.]

We loved our son. We loved him beyond anything you can imagine.  I know this because we would have moved heaven and earth before we would have allowed him to sleep on a plywood shelf in a shitshack.  But we knew that nobody wanted him but us.  He shared our DNA.  So we thought he was the living embodiment of the greatest child ever born.  Parents feel that way.  They are driven by their DNA to feel that way.  But nobody else does.

So, having established that none of us want your children, and that the state wants you to earn money and spend it raising your kids yourself, why are there funds available to “incentivize adoption”?

That’s because there are older children in the foster care system that are at risk of never finding a home.  Every year, thousands of unwanted children reach adulthood and are never adopted by anyone. Some of them have behavioral or emotional problems that make it difficult to find anyone who wants them.

Remember, your kids are cute and nobody but you wants them.  Imagine if they were not cute.  Or imagine if one of them had cerebral palsy.  Or imagine if one of them was on the autism spectrum.  Or imagine if one of them had severe learning disabilities, or a good case of juvenile diabetes.

That money goes to help families who are willing to take children that nobody else wants, but that need expensive counseling (imagine the kid who watched Daddy kill Mommy), or expensive medical care (foster child right up the road from me needed and got heart valve surgery – he is officially considered “hard-to-place”).  Or maybe the family is more than willing to adopt the hard-to-place child, but desperately needs for Mommy to take four months off work to get things ready, or to help the child adapt, only they cannot afford that, so they cannot adopt.

Adoption assistance exists to help parents afford the costs associated with  raising a child adopted from foster care. By providing financial assistance to these families, the State and Federal subsidy programs minimize the financial barriers to adopting a child from foster care so that more children in care are placed in permanent homes and families.

From the PDF linked to above, Federal Adoption Assistance

It’s no different than it is with rescue dogs.  Cute little puppies get adopted quickly.  Older dogs more slowly.  And older dogs with problems often do not get adopted at all.

And sure, the money is given directly to the states, and the states pretty much decide how to spend it (with some limitations from the federal government), but remember, they don’t get it unless they get these hard-to-place children adopted and they don’t get hard-to-place children adopted unless they help families do that. If the state just took the money and pocketed it and helped no one, they wouldn’t get much.  [That link, by the way, is to a site that appears to be pretty critical of the system.]

Besides, aren’t you the one in favor of government being more about states and counties and local government, and less about federal government?

Or would you rather see little Billy, with his diabetes and partial blindness, just live in foster care until he’s 18?  He can’t go “home.”  His mother is dead, and his father is in prison for killing her.  His relatives don’t want him and refuse to take him.

Hell, instead of having Baby #12, since the world already has all the Naugler genes it will ever need, why don’t you adopt one of those kids?  You and Joe are perfect parents.  Why not spread the love a little bit?

10 thoughts on “Adoption Incentives”

  1. “… why don’t you adopt one of those kids? You and Joe are perfect parents. Why not spread the love a little bit?”

    You owe me a new keyboard. I can’t imagine the Naugler’s opening up their home and hearts to others, let alone filling out a lot of forms, answering a bunch of questions, all in the hope of adopting a child. Let alone one who might come with opinions of his or her own.

    It’s actually really depressing to see how many children are in the foster care system whose parents have signed away their parental rights and have no family who can take care of them (age, distance, poverty, death, etc.) no matter what incentives are offered. Particularly the older ones who are about to age out of the system.

    Yes, there are times when CPS oversteps its bounds but that can happen whenever people are involved. It’s not necessarily malice, it’s probably a level of wariness borne of seeing some truly awful things. Nightmares about what some children have seen and experienced prior to CPS’s involvement and yes, sometimes bad things that have happened when there was supposed to be more people looking out for a particular family or child.

    Yes, there is money involved but trust me, it’s not that much per child. If one of the Naugler’s is going to go down that road, I’m a little surprised neither are raising the bogeyman of children being sold for their organs or something.

  2. For someone who bitches about the system as much as she does, she hasn’t really taken the time to research and understand the situation, past stupid memes and misleading propaganda.
    This program is a huge benefit to society.

    I’m going to hop on and do some research into the statistics about the families that have voluntarily sought the assistance of CPS. There are many, and it’s a pity people feel that there is no help out there.

  3. No state in the country would ever allow/approve the Nauglers to adopt. No matter how needy the child might be. Better they remain in the system for life than condemned to life in the Blessed Little Garden Shed.

    Playing devil’s advocate? You *are* the devil. You don’t have to play.

  4. Adoption requires a home study to make sure they home and family are fit for the child to live there and the family will have the means and ability to provide for the child.

    Part of the home study is looking at the bedroom and the bed the child will be sleeping in. Yes they do that and if it is not up to snuff and you do not correct it the adoption will not be approved. If the child is already with you as in the case of a private adoption and you do not fix it with in so many days they will take the child from you. I know this cause it happened to me. Adopted a newborn the baby was not even sleeping in the crib that her sister slept in for two years and manage to live through it. It was an older crib and they said the bars were too far apart. I explained the baby was not sleeping there instead in our room in a bassinet. They did not care had 4 days to replace it. They checked the bassinet too and that was okay. They require that children have a bed to sleep in and not as a pile on a floor.

    They also check your background very carefully. I doubt the Nauglers would get to adopt with the recent CPS case and other charges they each have.

    It is sad that there are so many kids that need homes. Sad that society is so lax on having a kid when you can not afford to have one. It use to be if you got pregnant and did not have insurance that the baby’s father had to pay the bills for the medical care while pregnant, at delivery/hospital and after. Not any more some keep having kids so they will be able to collect welfare. Those kids are produced out of love and only love of laziness and for the free money that will be handed over because they were born.

    Nicole thinks that CPS is so bad now she has no clue what it was like back in the day. Kids would be taken away and parents could not get them back. The kids were taken away and adopted out shortly after they were taken. Not now days the kids linger in foster homes for years and years some times while the parents say they want them back and do not do what is needed to be done to get them back. Or if they get them back they go back to their old ways. Some poor kids bounce between foster homes and parental homes way too much. Those kids would be better off getting adopted.

    Nicole says she lets her kids make their own decisions – we all know what her answer to them would be if they came up and said “Mommy I do not want to live here any more I want to go live with Mr and Mrs Smith.” Just like if they want to go to a regular school she has already back pedaled on the letting them make their own decisions on that – she will not let them go to a regular school if they wanted to and has said that.

    No Nicole I do not want your children either as I am the kind of person that you made your bed now sleep in it – you made those kids now you and husband step it up and take care of them. Time to stop looking for handouts. You dis the government hand outs cause you would be held accountable for what you get but you always have your hand out for donations of money and goods. Stop the begging – Stop the taking and Earn the money to buy what you need. FYI it would be easier if you made your husband become a man and get a real job that pays a paycheck.

  5. CPS is not all evil and out to steal kids. SO Nikki & JoJo or Ma & Pa, get your shit together and stop saying everybody is out to get you and that they want your children. You have your kids so brainwashed that they are scared to tell what horrors they truly suffer at the hands of you & “homestead” hubby. CPS are not kidnappers.. Sadly to many slip through the cracks and if they manage to survive they have a lot of issues in life and see Nog kids suffering the same fate. I am not picking on the kids at all I just see the way they are being raised and know “real life” is going to hit hard. I have dealt with CPS 1 time, a family member confessed they did it out of spite because they got mad over a stupid argument. You know what we did? We complied with CPS requests, allowed them to speak with & see (interact ) with the children. Caseworker told us to go home and not worry she’d file that there was no reason for CPS to be involved any further, the claims were unfounded. She said it could take 2wks to close out the case. We left the office and a couple hours later the Worker from CPS called me and said your case is closed. Enjoy the rest of your day.. Comply, and guess what if you’re not doimg anything wrong CPS has no grounds to take your children, trust the majority of those workers have no desire to rip families apart.

  6. ““incentivize adoption.”

    How I hate junk English and wish that words such as ‘incentivize’ had never seen the printed page. It’s appalling to see it in common use (not directed at you!). That is all.

  7. The reality is that these children were probably returned due to the simple fact that it is very hard to place that many children who are, in essence, feral. It would also have been difficult to place that many children with all of the media attention and the potential for violence from the parents. The word “Naugler” has become an insult in Kentucky. It is horrific. And it should be. People should never think that the Nauglers are synonymous with parenting. They have no clue what it takes to be a parent let alone be a good parent. Those children will be a by-product of the lack of parenting and that is a sin in and of itself.

  8. If “CPS human trafficking for profit” was a truly a reality, why on earth would any prospective parent want most children in the foster system, and more particularly, the Naugler children?

    These children are usually scarred by neglect, abuse, and at times, learning problems, other cognitive issues or psychiatric problems, or physical disabilities. They are “imperfect”, so according to the laws of supply, demand, and “product” desirability, what makes them desirable?

    Nothing. Other than an adoptive parent’s need and desire to care for and love a child. Parents who adopt foster children do so knowing that the child may have been born addicted (to crack, heroin, etc.), have fetal alcohol syndrome, may have learning disabilities, emotional trauma, psychiatric problems, or physical limitations or diseases.

    “Incentive” monies for adopting are not going to make prospective parents rich. It will not make an already strapped social services agency rich. The cost of care that most of these children need— psychological, educational, medical, enrichment — usually far outstrips the funds that “incentivize” the adoption.

    A final point. No one discusses the emotional bonds that foster parents form with their wards. These children come to their foster parents in great need of TLC and more love, structure and security than what they had in their parents’ homes. Foster parents know risk getting emotionally attached and falling in love with children who, in the interests of “family reunification,” may go back to a negligent or abusive set of parents, or get bounced back and forth in and out of foster care. I applaud the vast majority of foster parents — selfless, loving people who want nothing more than to give children a safe haven and a chance to thrive.

    Money does not motivate these people, generosity of spirit does. But the Nauglers, who think only in terms of the former, cannot understand the latter.

  9. Blessed Blogger said, “I know your kids are cute. But there are a lot of cute kids out there. Lots of them. And Nicole, the truth is that nobody but you and Joe wants your children. Nobody. I’m sure that stings a little bit, but you need to face it. Nobody is laying in wait to try to take your children away from you. Nobody is frothing at the mouth in anticipation of spending the bazillion dollars per child it costs to raise a kid to adulthood.”

    So true. Kids are cute, all kids are cute. And puppies and dogs are too. I can’t tell you how many dogs are dropped off and abandoned on our main road. How many we’ve rescued and attempted to find their owners, posting signs and posting on various Rescue and Animal Shelter sites. Cute dogs, and I would love to keep them all. It annoys me to no end, they are abandoned, dropped off on a road. Knowing they will likely be rescued, if they don’t get run over or die from hunger or the elements. Nobody looking to steal dogs, there are so many abandoned and discarded. If only there were incentives or assistance, to the people that take these discarded pets. Thinking of all the ones that aren’t cute, have behavior issues and so on that are less desirable. In the ones that we have found and rescued, we’ve been lucky that friends or someone who saw our posts, have adopted them.

    And then those kids. Kids that are in the state adoption system. Often made their way into the system from abandonment, neglect, abused, parents with addiction and/or mental health issues. Cute kids, but likely with some unfortunate collateral of their environment they came from. So deserving of a loving family, where they can heal and be loved and cared for. And the compounded collateral, if they end up aging out, before getting adopted. So yes, I support the additional incentive resources infused into this state adoption system, for the most vulnerable and needy children awaiting adoption. Yes, your kids are cute too, Nicole. The state system has more than enough abandoned, neglected, and abused children already. More children in the adoption system, than people that want to adopt.

    And then on the adoption side. It’s not a simple process, for someone desiring to adopt a child. It is a long process. It can be financially draining, as well as emotionally. Sometimes, you may not get matched with the child you hoped for. It’s not easy, and I applaud the perseverance and will, of those selfless, loving people who yearn to parent.

    I agree BLB, it may sting a little, but nobody wants to take your children.

  10. Old blog post but I wanted to read your thoughts on this whole CPS is the bad guy trying to make money bullshit. I am so sick of being told that I’m lying to myself by stating that I don’t believe CPS takes kids just for the money! Our state LOSES so much money every year because of the system. The “free” adoption program (which are children with disabilities, multiple children, mental illnesses, even just older children) is incredibly over ran. That “free” adoption program loses a SHIT ton of money because its FREE. The “free” kids greatly out number the “paid” for kids. Yea there’s tax breaks for the adopters and an allowance but it’s still not much, it’s still the state losing the money. The adopters don’t pay more than a few hundred dollars in filing fees. How the fuck is that stealing kids to make money?! Her kids would be on the “free” list because they clearly aren’t well educated, probably have poor social skills, probably have adjustment problems to living in a warm home with beds, and there’s multiples. The system would lose an incredible amount of money off the Naugs. This whole CPS conspiracy thing is total bullshit. It must be incredibly miserable having this frame of mind where everyone is out to get you, even people who just want to help children have homes. Every story she posts about someone having kids taken away has this AWFUL back story that she either doesn’t read or I don’t know has anyone considered that maybe she doesn’t know how to read because these stories involve drugs, violence, and disappearing for days leaving little kids at home alone and she NEVER puts that out there, NO it is ALWAYS CPS’s fault. I don’t give a flying rat’s a** if you unschool, you CAN NOT leave kids unattended. The naugs have got to be the luckiest people I have ever heard of and yet they feel so very unlucky, don’t they? They just can’t be grateful that the evil government gave their kids back, undeservingly, no they have to continue on their rampage. FOR YEARS! I almost feel bad for their crazy, almost. Lastly-All kids are cute, come on. People are always peppering her on how cute her kids are. Know why? Because she loves it, it’s basically the only comment you can make without pissing her off. Her kids are cute so CPS REALLY wants them…..

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