What sort of drugs produce this kind of stuff? Seriously.
Nicole is going to teach us all how to manage money.
I am not kidding. She is going to do this. We begin, she says, by writing down every penny we spend. Go work on that, little toddlers, and then come back later when she does the next episode, whenever that might be.
Well, I’m way ahead, since we rarely use cash. I pretty much have a record of every dime we spend. It comes at the end of the month in a credit card statement. We pay the balance owed. In fact, it’s automatically paid.
Our utilities? Paid automatically. We don’t buy bags of ice for a cooler or gallons of gas for a generator.
Our house payment? Don’t have one.
Insurance? Debited from Social Security.
Seriously, though, many years ago we decided to do something spectacular and wonderful and get out of debt. We weren’t drowning, but I sure didn’t like owing money. So I made a list, not of what we spent, but of what we owed.
I ordered everything according to the interest rate charged, from low to high. Then, I put the lowest amount/lowest interest rate debt at the top of the list.
From that moment on, I paid extra on that one debt. An extra two or three dollars. Whatever. It was finally paid off. When it was gone, I took the amount we’d been paying monthly on that debt and applied it to the next debt on the list. That one went faster. From there, the amounts we’d been paying on Debt 1 and Debt 2 went to Debt 3. You get the idea. I thought of it as “snowballing.”
Two years later, we were debt free, except our house.
Speaking of our house, we’ve owned about a dozen of them. We’ve actually lived in seven, I think. We had a rule which we never broke. We bought House 1. (For the record, we paid $27,500 for that first house.) I can’t find a photo of it right now, but here’s Nathan sitting on the porch steps of that house.
When we sold it, six years later, we took the proceeds, every penny, and applied it to House 2. Ditto with House 3. This is House 7 and we paid cash. This process took about 30 years, but here we are, and the loans kept getting smaller and smaller because we made larger and larger down payments. I also insisted on 15-year mortgages, and sometimes I had to really get assertive to get them. Lenders love those 30-year ones, and I don’t. Anyway, the basic rule is this: real estate money stays in real estate. Profit from real estate stays in real estate. No deviations. No taking the house money and buying a new car.
But that’s a rabbit trail. The Nauglers don’t own a house and never will.
It’s worked well for them. You know, that whole writing down spending 50 cents.
They aren’t wealthy, she says.
Somewhere out there is an understatement that thought it was going to be the Understatement of the Year 2017. That understatement was already imagining the crown it would wear. It looked in the mirror and could see it.
And the understatement is now sobbing hysterically, because it just got eclipsed by this one.
. . . we aren’t wealthy. . .
You don’t say? You have to be fucking with us all.
Where would the Nauglers have been without the Mormon church giving them money, food, paying their rent, paying their ulilities, setting Nicole up in business, and giving them cars? Where would they have been without GoFundMe? What about all the online begging? Do I really need to link to all of it?
Or just hint that you need something and hope somebody donates it.
It’s easy to keep “above water” when you rely on other people to throw you a life jacket.
So, everyone, follow Nicole’s fabulous budgeting advice, learn to manage your money like she does and you, too, can live in a garden shed and not have a pot to pee in, literally.