call it

Nicole is having thoughts late at night, apparently.  Maybe it’s from all that cleaning.  She’s tired and reflective.

The first part of this is a big whine about how overwhelmed she was when their story went viral.  It totally wasn’t her own doing or anything. It just happened. They were hanging out, just being normal, and wham!  Viral.

The problem with that is that some of the most god-awful photos of the shitshack and surroundings were taken by a professional news photographer.  You know, from the media. The media that Joe and Nicole invited to come to the shitshack and witness the awfulness of what the state was doing them, so their story would go. . . you guessed it. . . viral.

So pardon me if I just don’t start playing a mournful sympathy tune when she whines about how unprepared she was for notoriety.

But this part gets to me.

I can choose homebirth and you can choose a hospital birth and we can still get along.

Isn’t that nice?  It’s all tolerant and friendship-like. No reason for any quarreling or disagreement. Just use the opportunity to ask questions. Maybe you’ll learn something (implied: you stupid, ignorant dumbass). Nicole, of course, doesn’t need to ask any questions unless they are geared to box her opponent into a corner so she can deliver a resounding blow to the jaw.

Spend ten minutes reading a thread following some controversial shit she posts and you’ll see what I mean. There is no reasonable discussion. Disagree with her and you’ll be banned forthwith. Tell her you plan to circumcise your infant son and watch how tolerant she is.

But regardless of the fact that she doesn’t even know how to begin implementing the sentiment she wrote above, the basic idea is okay. All of us (I hope) have friends or family with whom we disagree from time to time. My closest friends in the world (apart from Dave) are Republicans. It gives me pain, and I am happy that they are unhappy Republicans who aren’t going to vote for Trump, but they are Republicans nonetheless. It’s not a deal-breaker when it comes to love.

But some things just aren’t open for negotiation, and where we draw the line is a very personal thing.

For me, racism is a biggie.  Make a racist joke in my presence and you’ll probably never say anything in my presence ever again.  Religion will also drive me over the edge.  It’s all fine as long as nobody tries to proselytize me. But start with crap about how you’re concerned about my “everlasting soul” and we are going to part company rapidly.

Those two things might not bother you.

But back to Nicole. The three things she mentions are unschooling, off-grid life, and stay-at-home dads.

She isn’t actually participating in any of those three things at all.

Her children aren’t “unschooled.” They simply are not educated at all.  Period. Nothing educational is done for or with them, and making a box doesn’t count.

I was a homeschooler.  I understand the concept of unschooling.  I even empathize a bit. I also understand with a whole lot of hindsight what the weaknesses and pitfalls are. Homeschooling, be it conventional or the unschooling variety, is not nothing.  It takes work and attention on the part of the parents to make it optimal.

The Nauglers are not “off-grid.”

They are squatters living without utilities in a garden shed. They depend totally on water from a source off their land, on food from sources off their land, on power from sources off their land except for the tiny bit of juice they generate with two small solar panels. Take away their off-the-land resources and they would all be dead in two weeks for sure and probably sooner than that.

And Joe Naugler is not a “stay-at-home dad.”

He’s an unemployed lazy-ass moocher, and for years he’s been mooching off his wife and anything the public gets conned into giving him.  I have been a stay-at-home mom, and I assure you, it’s not like what he does.

Just saying you’re unschooling, or living off-grid, or living in a cabin, doesn’t mean you actually are doing any of those things. Words have meanings, and we assign those meanings so we can communicate.

Haven’t I already talked about this before? Ah yes, I have.  Remember the camel?

camelI know, it’s idiotic, but he’s awfully cute.

trans slam

. . . others cannot define who we are.

Yes, we can.

The slam at Caitlyn Jenner is uncalled-for and pretty close to a racist joke in terms of how offensive I find it. There is an enormous difference between being trans (something Jenner cannot help and cannot change, like having red hair or bad teeth), and pretending you’re a “homesteader” when you’re really a squatter in a garden shed. The two things are not even remotely similar.

We are all sovereign beings.


Are we?  Really?

Am I a queen, a supreme ruler?  I don’t think so.  Do I possess supreme or ultimate power? Nope.  (And obviously, I am not a coin.)

Neither does Nicole or Joe Naugler.

None of us do.

Nicole gets this nonsense from the so-called “sovereign citizen” movement.

sovereign citizens
click image to link to source

That’s from the FBI’s website. I assumed that would be an okay source to use, since one of the Blessed Little Plans is to have a sit-down conversation with the FBI.

None of us are “sovereign,” with the exception of a very few actual monarchs and most of them no longer have absolute power in their countries.

And Joe and Nicole are not exceptions to that, as they had very clearly laid out for them in court just the other day.  How many times do the authorities have to drag their asses in there before they start to get the message that they cannot just do whatever they like?

Coupled with all this is the idea that you can become anything you want if  you want it badly enough.

be anything

Well, no, a bear cannot become a frog.  I cannot just say I am an FBI investigator and suddenly be one.  Being “confident in who we are” does not mean being delusional about our capabilities or possibilities.  It doesn’t mean that you say you are a homesteader when you don’t meet a single one of the criteria that define that term.

And then she veers off topic to that of criticism, which is of course, always unfair when directed at her, and totally understandable when emanating from her.

If your ideas have merit, they will be adopted voluntarily. If they have to be forced, well, there’s a good reason why. They probably aren’t good ideas to begin with.

This is called argumentum ad populum. It’s a logical fallacy but one that is widely believed. If lots of people think something (Monsanto is evil, vaccines are dangerous, Jesus is real, prayer works, Trump would make a good president), then that has to be true.

No, it doesn’t.

If we’d waited for the argumentum ad populum, the descendants of slaves would be enslaved still, women would still not have the vote, and gays would not have the right to marry.

But let’s assume it’s true for a second.  If living in a garden shed, crammed in with 13 people and no utilities is a good thing, if doing nothing whatever about education but letting kids just run around doing whatever the hell they want all day long, if begging for money on the internet, if having children you simply cannot afford to educate, feed, clothe and house—if these are all good ideas that have “merit,” well, then why isn’t everyone else doing that?

What just astonishes me, and makes me more than a little bit sad, is that as of right now, four people read that little essay of Nicole’s and thought it was great.


Blessed Little Plans, August 28




Well, this has been an eventful couple of weeks. Nicole managed to accomplish two things on her list: she started a new blog, because she doesn’t have enough of them, and Joe got a one-year deferral on Shitgate provided he has Jeremy “that idiot” Hinton approve all shit disposal and provided he doesn’t “hold” any.

So life is good.

I guess.

Except maybe for the “friend” who offered to “sit” the “homestead.”  I cannot imagine. . .

The Help Desk

Joe and Nicole have to fill out some paperwork. They need a permit to dump their buckets of human sewage on their property, and they have to get Jeremy “that idiot” Hinton to sign off on said permit.


Thankfully, we have a volunteer who has offered to help them fill it all out.

I know Joe and Nicole will be grateful.

Hey there Joe and Nicole,

Glad you’re reading the comments. Nice to see you still don’t have the character to respond to me directly and instead, choose to play this blog game. I was notified about your blog comments to include the use of my name again.

Rock on Pepsodent.

It’s unfortunate you continue to spin and exaggerate and lie. But hey, we’ve come to expect nothing less.

I wish you luck in your “landfill application”. A DFS-319 would have been much easier. But that blank DFS-345 is more fun. Funnier than shit actually.

Let me offer some help.

-Block 3 (Structures) Go ahead and put “sound construction with pallet base” in the addendum.

-Block 4 (Proposed disposal areas) Stick with what works. “We’ll toss that shit in the woods”

-Block 6 (Access roads) you can put “sorta. i.e. not good enough to place the shed where we really wanted to, but good enough to drive on if it hasn’t rained too much”.

-For block 7 (Proposed operations plan) “the spirit will guide us” might work.

-Block 8 (Monitoring Program) put “We are armed and will deal with anybody or any entity that dareth step foot upon our hallowed retreat.”

-For block 9 (Land use) Go ahead and put a question mark there. That’ll pretty much sum up what has happened to that land.

-Block 10 (Nitrogen Requirement) Here’s a great idea. Stomp your feet and remind everybody that the atmosphere is actually 78.09% nitrogen so this is obviously a statist requirement meant to deceive and force uneducated people to pay taxes.

-Block 11 (application rate) Simply fill out a variable application matrix that takes intake into consideration. Hardees probably differs from White Castle.

-Block 12 (Approval letter from local planning and zoning) You could call Valerie Chinn and get a news spot outlining how you’re being downtrodden and forced to comply with something that doesn’t exist.

-Block 13 (Endangered Species) Just put “human character” in there and it’ll probably make sense.

-Block 14 (Other required by cabinet) Good Luck.

You have a blank piece of wrinkled paper and a printed piece of regulations. I suppose I could put a blank application to Mensa up and assume it’s all taken care of?

It is funny shit. Keep posting. I appreciate the “advice” you keep offering. If you think I’m harassing you by calling bullshit on you when you drop my name . . . then “lawsuit” me. Go ahead and snag an attorney and litigate. Tell them I’m a troll and have hurt your feelings by making public commentary on your public commentary. I’d offer advice as well, but you wouldn’t take it. Actually, I don’t want you to take it. I enjoy the blog war you and Sally have going. It’s like watching a crazy person armed with marshmallows rush an M1 Abrams tank. Time and time again. Marshmallows bouncing off the armor. The crazy person keeps picking them back up and throwing them. Sally and I are sitting in the tank chuckling.

Let me put something into perspective for you. My entire septic system; tank, lines, permit, installation, sign-off . . . cost me $1400 a mere five years ago. I even owned my own backhoe, but it was ultimately cheaper to have it all installed by a guy I know that knows how the system works. All legal, all functional. At $106 a month, well, you do the exact science. Let’s not forget that there was a system on your land. You could have used that, but instead, you chose to dump your shit in the woods. The rain does wash it off. It does dissipate. It doesn’t compost. It goes into the ground water. My water.

I’m fine with you doing whatever the hell you want as long as your hubris, arrogance, ignorance, and sheer stupidity don’t compromise my water source.

Warm regards,
Al, your hardheaded neighbor that isn’t spending $106 a month on a turdis.

PS Since I enjoy watching Sally hand you your asses on a regular basis, I’m going to send her some money to pay blog fees. It’s worth the funny shit.


No consulting fee will be charged. This advice was offered free as a public service.

Note: I would far rather see any extra bucks donated to the Kentucky Sheriff’s Ranch (information in the side bar).

For reference, here is Nicole little message to Al from her shit-colored blog. (Why those awful colors?)

Nicole to Al


didn't realize

Ah. I see. It was just a coincidence.


I posted the OK Corral thing at least an hour before you posted your brief ten-second “update.”

But, yeah, it was all just a coincidence.

nicole's blog

First off, David Davis doesn’t think anything about any of this because he gives not one single fuck about you, Nicole. The only mention he ever makes of you is that he has adopted the words “nauglerized” or “nauglered” to mean “all fucked up.”

What do I think about what?

You mean what do I think about the fact that there is a permit process in place in Kentucky to compost, treat, and dispose of human waste?

I don’t think anything. I already knew it existed. I actually do a bit of homework before I write, Nicole. I knew all about that.  After all, what do you suppose they do with the shit in the porta-potty after they come pump it out?  They treat it.  They have a permit to do that.  They get inspected regularly.


The problem is that you want a permit to dump raw shit on raw ground without doing anything at all. That’s what you showed Jeremy “that idiot” Hinton when you trudged back through the weeds to your “compost heap.”  You showed him a very old pile of shit, most likely not your current or newest one.

You’ve been just dumping buckets of shit on the raw ground.

Actually, you haven’t at all. You’ve been sending children to do the dumping because Joe “I know my rights” Naugler couldn’t/wouldn’t walk that far. That would be work, and Joe doesn’t do work.

You fill in all that paperwork.  I double dog dare you.  You assess the nitrogen level of your shit.  You get all that lab work done. You create the infrastructure necessary to properly monitor human waste.  Then you submit it to Jeremy “that idiot” Hinton and see what he knows about his job.  Let’s see if he really knows how to do it.

You see, I have a very close friend who runs a dairy farm. He’s dealing with cow shit.  Cow shit.  Not human shit. Cow shit is not nearly as dangerous as human shit (to humans).  And he has to meet very strict guidelines for his shit disposal.  Very strict indeed. So strict that he gets peeved now and again over it.

If the state of Kentucky requires all that for cow shit, it’s a given that they require much more for human shit.


That’s really just the cover sheet.  See that part about all the documents that need to be attached with it?

It’s not just a case of “I wanna dump shit in the back of my property,” and the Health Department says, “Oh, sure. That’s a fine idea. Just put your name here and give us $50.”

You know that.  You’ve always known that.

But I’m not the final word here. I’m not even an interim word. I’m just a blogger, commenting on your public statements because you and Joe made yourselves newsworthy.  (That’s actually what “going viral” means.)

Jeremy Hinton has the final word.

Let’s just see what he has to say.  He can do whatever he likes and you and Joe cannot shit without his permission.

Don’t you have some bows to make?  That bill from Bennett is coming due soon.


I forgot to add this.


There was never any “bs about contamination.” That was your made-up straw man that you rode to try to downplay this whole thing.

Hinton’s notice to you never mentioned “contamination.”  Hinton never used that word a single time.  Joe “there is no sickness” Naugler did, but Hinton did not.

The paperwork is not “standard for the county.” The paperwork is a fucking deferral from a court of law, Nicole, and you better take it seriously.  If the court chooses and decides that Joe is not in compliance with that deferral, they can drag his ample ass right back into court faster than you can say “shoot me.”  And they don’t have to defer to his constitutional right to a trial because he waived that.

But you go work on the permit.

I’ll put it on your list.

By the way, we’ll all be watching to be sure the porta-potty stays right there.

Threats and Bluffs

threats BLH

“They” send Nicole “send money because I’m afraid” Naugler threats.  Facebook is fine with that.  She posts screenshots of those threats and Facebook takes them down.

Well, I wanna see the threats.  I am inviting you to send me copies of those screen shots that Facebook took down, the ones threatening you. Send them to me and I will post every last one of them right here for all the world to see.  You’ll get a big audience.

I call your bluff, Nicole.

Are these examples?

Oh, wait. No. Those are threats made to me, not you.  And they were made by you, Nicole, or by your surrogates.

legal threat 2Nicole commentpoop mebetween the eyesgood shotThe blocked name is that of her minor daughter.


Should I go on?  I can, you know.  I could fill this whole page and another two or three if I wanted to spend some time at it. Here’s a few others.

But then there is this.

Nathan 1

Nathan 2

Apart from the egregious errors of fact involved here, this is outrageous.

I will make one threat, Nicole “I am documenting everything” Naugler. I never, ever forget shit like this.  Ever. And I never, ever forgive it.

Document that.


The OK Corral

They were standing on a corner in Tombstone, Arizona.  It was such a fine sight to see.

Or, as it’s known in Breckinridge County, the Breckinridge County Courthouse.

This was the scene of the Great Shitgate Standoff on August 16, 2016.


On one side, standing for the evil “nuisance” State, was Wyatt Earp the Judge, with his accomplice, Doc Holliday Jeremy “that idiot” Hinton of the Breckinridge County Health Department.

On the other side, standing up for “his right to compost his shit,” was Ike Clanton Joe “I’ll dump my shit anyplace I like” Naugler.

They had come to this defining moment after years of sparring.

court records 1


Note: some of these charges say “dismissed” because Joe quickly complied with the law, or because charges were rolled together into one.

court records 2

And that’s just in Kentucky, spanning six years.  Who knows how much is in Texas or Maine or elsewhere.

But clearly Joe “I will absolutely fling my shit” Naugler is no stranger to the evil devices of the State, his nemesis.  In other words, this is not his first rodeo.

The current confrontation has been documented here numerous times over the past few months.

The Bucket Brigade


This is probably what you came here to find out

Throughout, Joe “nobody can tell me where to poop” Naugler has been adamant about his right to relieve himself as he pleases. Nothing illustrates this better than the little conversation he had and recorded with Jeremy “that idiot” Hinton from the Breckinridge County Health Department.

And it looks even better in print.  So I transcribed it for you.

You’re welcome.

Joe: I’m just curious as to, beyond the complaints that are being made, what factual evidence have you acquired to instigate (incomprehensible) the claims that are in that paper.

Hinton: Like I said, other than the complaint, I have not been on your property.

Joe: Yeah, well, I know that

Hinton: on y’all’s Facebook post, there were pictures of the composting toilet, or what you call a composting toilet.

Joe: Yeah

Hinton: The way you’re composting is not approved – is not an approved system in the state of Kentucky.

Joe: Well, we have looked at EPA, and we have looked at regulations, and we’ve had several other agencies investigate us, and everything is on the up and up. We, we composted through a bucket; we have several composting areas that we keep very, uh, lined with, uh, even EPA standards. We downloaded the PDF based off of EPA standards and we are following those to the letter.

Now, I’m cur – I know that you’ve gone on Ron’s property – we saw you – uh, did you take any test results from anything off of his property to confirm that our compost toilet is contaminating his property?

Hinton: No. The reason I was on his property was not for the toilet. That’s not the reason I was on his property. The reason I was on his property was for debris and trash and stuff that supposedly came from your property, and I was just there to look at that.

Joe: And you saw debris and trash?

Hinton: Well, there was some type – I don’t know if it was wet toilet paper that was (unclear) – there was something in that field of his. I don’t know if that came from his property or your property or what. I was there to look at that.

Joe: Yeah, yeah, so you’re saying one item that could have been a toilet paper, could have been. . .

Hinton: The letter you received is because of the way that human waste is being piled, or composted, or whatnot.

Joe: Yeah

Hinton: (unclear) has some type of EPA guidelines, or something, that you’ve talked to them. If you’ve got all that documented, then I need copies of all that.

Joe: Well, we don’t need – we’re not gonna – we don’t need to prove a negative. I mean, if you’re coming at us and you’re trying to, to, show cause of something that we have done wrong, you need to prove that. You’re gonna need to prove all of that. And that’s what I’m saying. I’m requesting any documentation, any certified documentation, of how, because it’s very clear that, in the thing, we have a right to compost our waste. And the guidelines that are set forth, we are following it as best we can to the letter. And when I say ‘as best we can’, that – I’m not saying – we’re following it the way it’s supposed to be done. There is no contamination run-off, there is no sickness, there is no anything being caused, or to show cause from our compost.

This is direct harassment that we are documenting coming from some of the locals, who we have heavily documented, are gonna do this. Um, and, you’re just, as far as you and your agency, we’re gonna need proof of any of this.

Hinton: Okay. Like I said, basically you can look through all the-

Joe: I have. We have.

Hinton: (unclear) 902KAR (unclear) 085

Joe: We looked through all those yesterday, and we still fall in line with that. And like I said, you’ve sent us a piece of paper with your authority on it and your reputation without, again, like I’ve said, I’ve recorded this conversation here and admittedly, you’ve never been on our property, and the only thing you spotted on Ron’s property, after not doing any tests, because we read all these citations, we read ’em all, was that you saw what could have been toilet paper, or some kind of debris but it was only one piece or item.

Hinton: Okay. Like I said, we’ll just, we’ll let this go, and at the end of your notice, if you haven’t corrected the dumping of the solid, dumping of the human waste on the ground, then. . .

Joe: The human waste can be composted on the ground.

Hinton: Okay, we’ll let somebody else determine who’s right and who’s wrong.

Joe: Who, who’s going to determine that?

Hinton: Have a good day.

As you can see, Joe “I can so dump shit if I want” Naugler just did not give an inch.  And Jeremy “that idiot” Hinton just refused to listen to Joe “It can so be composted” Naugler’s cogent arguments, and retreated swiftly to the safety of letting “somebody else” determine who is right and who is wrong.

But who is going to determine that?

Why, the evil statist Judge, that’s who.


So Joe “We did not contaminate” Naugler got a summons, way back in June. It has taken all this time, due to all sorts of legal wrangling and an illness, to get to the OK Corral.  But here we are were, on August 16.

Nicole “I will so breastfeed my baby right in court while he wears sunglasses” Naugler has assured us that they are in it for the long haul (did you like that little pun? Took me a while to come up with that one).


It’s a plot.  It’s the evil statist Judge who is plotting with Jeremy “that idiot” Hinton to make an “example” of this poor family, the Clantons Nauglers and make them “conform.”


Actually, the evil statist Judge didn’t do anything at all about any testing of any soil.  You know why?  Because Jeremy “that idiot” Hinton never accused them once of “contaminating” anything.  What he said above, right to Joe “nobody is sick” Naugler, was that dumping shit on the ground in Kentucky is illegal.  Period.

lack of a permit

And I hate to inform Nicole “we don’t need no damn permit” Naugler, the permit wasn’t the issue. You can’t get a permit to commit robbery either. There is no permit available to do what they have been doing.

stand ground

But they are gonna stand their ground. See? Right there. That’s what it says.

not backing down

Nicole “I know my rights” Naugler is not backing down.

Can you feel the tension in the air?  On a hot August morning, the air was electric in Breckinridge County.  Who would win in this battle of wills rights lunacy?

Would it be the evil statist Judge with his trusty sidekick, Jeremy “that idiot” Hinton?

Or would the intrepid Joe “we have read that and follow it to the letter” Naugler prevail in his stand against tyranny?

update promise

We were promised an update.  We were so promised an update.

And I waited for the update.

And waited.

And waited.

And nothing happened.

Well, except a stupid picture of a little kid eating at Hardee’s during the Joe “I love our after-court dates” and Nicole “I always take the baby so sympathy” outing.

So what the hell. I’ll update.

deferral 1

Page 1.  It’s a criminal offense, but because the evil statist Judge was feeling all nice and sweet, he allowed Joe “I absolutely can dump my shit” Naugler to sign a deferral agreement.

What does that mean?

It means that Joe “I cave in whenever I walk into a courtroom” Naugler has to be a good boy and follow all the rules that the evil statist Judge lays down in the document.  He has to do this for a whole year.  If he fucks up and makes a huge mistake and shits in a bucket and dumps it on the ground, the evil statist judge can have his sorry ass hauled right back into court and there will be hell to pay at that point.

deferral 2

And other than “be a good boy,” there were two requirements.

First, Joe “I know my rights” Naugler waived his constitutional right to a trial.  I found this extremely funny.

Second, he cannot “hold” shit.  I cannot imagine why he would want to “hold” shit, but nonetheless, he cannot do it.

He also cannot “stockpile” shit.  That means, in evil statist courtroom language, he cannot compost it.  He can’t make a big pile of it and let it rot.

And he can’t even “dispose” of shit without getting the approval of Jeremy “that idiot” Hinton.

That means one of two things:

They have to hope Jeremy “that idiot” Hinton will allow them to continue renting the porta-potty for the next year or they have to get an approved, actual, real septic tank complete with permit and inspection and all that stuff.


Just like the rest of us have to do.

And just like in Tombstone, Arizona, all those years ago, the Earps won.

Looks like the Nauglers have a couple of thousand extra bows to make.


It appears that about an hour after this post went up, Nicole “I never read the ‘tabloid’ blog” Naugler did a kind of rewrite/update/mishmash on her blog.  Unlike her, I do not mind one bit if you click the linky and go over and read what she has to say.  It’s just an amazing coincidence that she decided to update right at that time.

Basically, though, she’s trying to assert that all that happened at the Great Shitgate Showdown was that Jeremy “that idiot” Hinton gave her a form for a permit and she just has to fill it in and submit it and they’ll be back to shitting in buckets and dumping it on the ground.

I’ll believe that when I see it.

Oddly, she claims that “their attorney” (like they have an attorney on permanent retainer) gave them a copy of the supposed form for the permit “weeks ago.”  Why, then, didn’t she just fill it in, if it’s so easy peasy, and submit it and then stick her tongue out at the whole world and trot off to shit legally in a bucket?

Oh, and she refers to the court deferment as a “souvenir.”  That’s sort of like calling Mr. Hinton an “idiot” and the court a “nuisance.”

There was never a need for this to go to criminal court. . .

Well, she’s right about that. All they had to do was comply with the law in the first place, and do something about it all within the very generous length of time they were given, and they’d never have gone to court.

Nicole “freedom fighter” and Joe “OMG, let me sign before I have to go to jail” Naugler are their own worst enemies.

Buckets and Bows

bucket and bow

Today I am going to peer into the future for your evening entertainment.

Wait.  I need a crystal ball to do that.  Hang on a second.  Be right back.

craystal ball cracked

Here we go.

Oh, wait. That one’s cracked. I can’t see anything in it.  I need to check the other closet.

crystal ball

That’s better. I can see something coming through.

It looks like. . . wait. . . it’s getting clearer. . . here it comes. . .


The burning question for this evening for our crystal ball is this.

How many bows would it take to pay for a porta-potty for an entire year?

That involves math.  And math, of course, is. . . let me hear it. . . all together now. . .


But we’ll try.  (All figures here are approximate and rounded up to the nearest reasonable figure so we don’t have to work with enormous long fractions which are very scary indeed.)

A porta-potty costs $106 per month.  That’s $1272 annually.  That’s a lot of bows.  A whole lot of bows.

But how many is it exactly?

Well, the answer to that is “it depends.”  It  depends on how much you can sell them for.  I looked on Ebay to see what they sell for, and damn, it is all over the map. It depends on how big they are. The bigger, of course, the more they cost.

So, I just did a little averaging.  (Look that up if you don’t know how to average. It’s math and it’s hard, but it’s so worth it.)

If you were able to sell an assortment of bows, say, all the bows offered on a particular website, one set per customer, at full price, you’d need to sell 5.4 sets of them to pay for a porta-potty for a whole year.  That’s a lot of bows.

Yeah, a whole lot.

I counted to see how many it would be.


One thousand, three hundred and eighty bows.

Golly, how much time is that?

Well, I had no idea but I’ve been told that education is easy. All you have to do is go to YouTube and you can find anything you want. So I went to YouTube to see how long it takes to make dog bows.

And the answer is “it depends.”

It depends on what kind of bow. Simple ties take one minute or so (and I think that 90 seconds is a better estimate because the person in the video had all the supplies ready and had already cut and prepared the pieces). More elaborate flowers take at least two minutes, probably closer to 2 1/2 minutes because the “teacher” had everything pre-prepared.

So let’s be do some averaging and say 2 minutes per bow.

That’s 2760 minutes or 46 hours.

46 hours of non-stop work to make enough bows to sell to pay for a porta-potty for a whole year.  More than a week’s labor, and that’s with no breaks or lunch or anything.

My goodness.

And of course, we are assuming here that all those 1380 pieces can be sold at full price without having to put them on sale.

But we have not factored in the cost of the materials.


I wasn’t exactly sure how to estimate material costs, but decided to give it a try, since you can learn anything on the internet, or at least, that’s what I’ve been told.

My guess is that you can get ribbon for 225 ties for about $20.  Maybe a bit less if you don’t use grosgrain. For the flowers, I am going to guess they cost about $.25 each.  They come in clusters and are taken apart, and if  you find them on sale, it works out to about that.  I am also going to assume that by buying in bulk, you can avoid shipping costs. That’s a big assumption and probably not true all the time.

Then there are extra bits of ribbon and little stickers and hot glue and those dental bands (package of 100 is about $5).

So let’s assume that you use one band on each bow.  There are 1380 bows. That’s $69 worth of dental bands.

And let’s assume that half your bows are ties (unlikely, but let’s be optimistic here, and besides, all this math is hard), and half are flowers.

That’s 690 ties. We can get ribbon for 225 for around $20, so that’s approximately $60 for ribbon.  That’s also 690 flowers which would come in at about $172.

Let’s see. That gives us a total about $300 just in basic materials.  Let’s toss in another $25 for hot glue and assorted little crap that I haven’t thought of.

$325 in materials.

We make the customer pay shipping and make sure the shipping charges are high enough to also include packaging.

Well, that means that we have to make approximately 25% more bows in order to net enough money to pay for the porta-potty, or 1725 bows.  It would also take about 11 additional hours, making a total of 57 hours.

Consider, of course, that we are talking about some seriously fast, very good labor here, working non-stop.  We only are timing when the bows are being made, not when the workers are horsing around.

What else could you buy with $1272 if you simply didn’t have to pay for a porta-potty for whole year?

What could you do with $106 extra per month? Or an extra 5 hours?

Is it worth all that just to insist on flinging shit on the ground?

crystal ball potty






Facts Sometimes Just Bite




Nicole has actually done a thing that she had “planned.”  She started yet another blog.

This is a massive feat.  It took her all of ten minutes, I bet.

But here’s the deal.  She is going to just publish these stories, from people who may remain anonymous, totally unvetted, of supposed mistreatment by Child Protective Services and the court system.

You do realize, don’t you, that just like people in prison, people whose children were taken by Child Protective Services are almost always innocent?  At least, that’s what they claim. That’s why it was very nice to see a commenter on this blog who basically said, “My children were taken and it was the right thing for the state to do, even though it totally sucked for me.”  Hardly anyone ever does that.

So soliciting unvetted “stories” is just asking for lovely fictional accounts to come flooding in.

And exactly what does Nicole think she will accomplish by this (except for the gleaning of people to support her with donations. . . )?  I assure you that nobody in state government is interested in unvetted anonymous stories, especially when poorly written and that involve very long paragraphs and run-on sentences.

However, since Nicole refuses to vet them, I will step up to the plate.

Here’s the first.

13 percent foster care

This is from the entry called Two Kinds of Foster Parents. The writer claims to have been a Kentucky foster parent and says that there are two kinds: those who do it because of the money and those who just love little children.  Guess which sort she was?

However, math is hard.

She says:

. . . in 2006 13% of all children in Kentucky were in foster care.

She continues by asserting that the state of Kentucky gets so damned much money from all these bazillion children in foster care that hell, we don’t need any state taxes.  They just use federal money from foster care to keep the whole entire state running.

click image to link to source

Here are the actual figures from 2006, ten years ago.

The population of children in Kentucky in 2006 was just under a million: 960,255.

The number of children in foster care was 6895.  That six thousand, eight hundred ninety five.

What percent of 960,255 is 6895?  Well, that’s algebra, and Nicole doesn’t do algebra.  Neither do her brain-dead followers, it seems, and neither does the idiot who wrote that silly nonsense.

The correct percentage of children in foster care in Kentucky in 2006 was .718%.

That is point seven one eight, less than one percent.  Not 13%.

I even tried very hard to give this doofus the benefit of the doubt and say that maybe she put a period between the 1 and the 3 and Nicole simply didn’t copy it correctly and the figure she meant to use was 1.3%, but even that is almost two times the real figure.

Thirteen percent of 960,255 is 124,833. Considering that there are only about 400,000 children in the whole entire United States in foster care in any given year (it fluctuates slightly), that would simply be astonishing.

The percentage of children in various states in foster care:

California: 0.6%

Mississippi: 0.432%

Texas: 0.42%

Florida: 0.49%

Indiana: 0.91%

Oopsie. Did you get that?

Indiana had 14, 452 children in foster care on September 30, 2014.  The population under age 18 in Indiana in 2014 was 1,582,360. Do the math. I know it’s hard, but try.

So, just from those few states that I randomly chose and looked up the stats, Kentucky falls in second place, not first place.

But let’s get as current as we can, why don’t we?  Especially since we know of ten kids who live in Kentucky who are not in foster care.

According to the US Census Bureau, there were 1,013,346 children (under age 18) in Kentucky in 2015.  There are 7894 of them in foster care. That’s 0.77%.

These figures fluctuate from year to year, as you can imagine, but not by a whole lot.

Be skeptical of what you read.  Really skeptical.  People are just so full of baloney a lot of the time. The state of Kentucky is not running the entire state based on federal money they get for the tiny number of children who are in foster care.

If the state of Kentucky was really so gung-ho ready to take children away from their parents at the drop of a white bucket full of shit, I know eleven they could grab tomorrow and there would be cheers heard across the land. The fact that they do not tells me that they really don’t want to do this if they can possibly keep from it.  Rather than being overly eager to grab kids, they are, in my personal opinion, too lenient.